It's supposed to be a stream of conciousness -style piece, not overly polished yet. Have areas which I'm unhappy with but I won't disclose them, see if you guys can figure themout yourselves...
Happy reviewing
I’ll sit on your balcony, cigarette, bare legs hanging over the edge, swinging.
We play charades, I‘m innocuous, you’re plain innocent. My legs are some twisted symbolisation of those rusty swings that as children we would clamber on; fat-limbed.
I can’t stop staring at you. Infatuation is the strongest curse, made deadly by its nature of self infliction.
The sun blinds me. Rays fight to penetrate my flimsy eyelids, I don’t have any sunglasses here.
I will recognize your intention to offer me hers and then the second thought of rationality that says it’s just a step too far, hyper-inappropriate.
Your t-shirt is perfectly unfitting. An inverse match.
Who would’ve guessed infidelity is so bittersweet and sadistically addictive?
You taste like the sweetest poison varnish.
Knowing I’ll never have you makes your skin just that bit more velvet;
your touch just that bit more electric,
your fingertips firmer,
your breath hotter,
your embrace closer.
I’m scared if I wrap my legs around you one more time I’ll never let go.
Make me stop!
In these precious moments I can pretend you’re mine. That I didn’t let my indecisiveness and childish obstinacy let her get her teeth in first, steal that irreplaceable position as your first love.
It makes me sick.
At least all I need to do is look in those murky all-too-familiar eyes of yours and know you’re thinking just the same.
I’m sorry to make you into this. I know you care about her, and I know you can’t resist me. I don’t want to be the other woman I promise, I swear to you. I don’t want to die alone.
I want you.
And you know all too well how much I hate not getting my own way. I just can’t keep my lips off you, come here my darling.
Let’s retreat back into the safety of bed, protect me from this burning accusative sunlight.
She has nice shoes.
I love lying in your bed exhausted, smoke spiralling out of us. I wish I could call it our bed. It is for now. But really it’s hers isn’t it? Did she choose these sheets you’re pushing me into?
If I close my eyes I can almost feel them engulf me.
You fill me with so much prurience I wish it hurt. I want to signature the territory that is your body, as my lover. I know you want me to, and hers are so feeble it’s almost offensive; doesn’t give your loving justice.
You may as well be a blank canvas, and you know all too well my appetite for corruption; I like the dark we have within us, and how you can never tell.
I can tell you’ll never be as soulless as me. It will take a million screams and tears till I can admit I’m jealous.
Soon you’ll be overcome by guilt. That soul I long for so much will be the death of us. Fun won’t hack it anymore. You’ll let me down so gently, so, so kindly it’ll crack me in two.
You and her will have a big talk after you confess our adultery, and she’ll forgive you; recognize the honesty and purity in you I thought I could fight out.
You’ll both disappear into your own world of bliss, without me.
My skin won’t be able to contain me anymore and I’ll turn into black rock, inside and out all the same.
Don’t let it happen soon.
I’m not ready to be permanently condemned in my self-created misery.
Let me live the lie that someone loves me just a little longer.
It’s not my fault, I never knew any other way, you know this. My disillusion melts you.
I wish you could melt me too
[I want the last line to be really small font but I don't know hot to format that on here...but just imagine it aha , thanks for reading!]
