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Tipping The Velvet {seven}



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Points: 890
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Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:38 pm
CastlesInTheSky says...



Written in a terrible rush, and it sure as heck shows. But I needed to churn something out, however crappy, to keep me sane. :wink:

Chapter 7

It was with a sorry heart that Anne returned home that day, feeling both idiotic and humiliated.
Seeing her daughter’s head hung in decline and her brimming eyes, Mrs. Lincombe could not help feeling a twinge of guilt, despite her unswayable principles.

“Anne?” she said, the concern evident in every wrinkle on the flushed, broad face, so different to her daughter’s white angular countenance.

Her daughter remained unresponsive, hanging her coat and scarf up on the peg with robotic movements, and limply sitting on her armchair, fixing her attention on the leather-backed novel that Henry had given her.

“Whatever be the matter, silly child?” Mrs. Lincombe asked, the words spilling out of her mouth more harshly than she had expected, unable to show the worry etched into her face.

“Nothing,” Anne replied, in more of a whisper than her normal tone – quiet, but steady.

“Come now, girl,” said Mrs. Lincombe, her voice wavering slightly. “I’ve known yer since ye were a mere bairn...yes, a mere bairn. And I know all is not right with yer.”

“You cannot help me, mother,” Anne responded disconsolately, shutting her mother out and escaping into her book in a way that made Mrs Lincombe cringe, because she could not understand this different world her daughter left to, would never understand it.

She shrugged helplessly, spreading her vein-patterned palms upwards. “’Are ye not happy, child? Any other wench would be ‘a dancin’ with joy to ‘ave a rich gentleman courtin’ her, givin’ her family money. By Jove, gel, I canny understand yer. He ‘as his own carriage with ‘is very own seal on it – what richness, Anne! And e’s a spirited gentlemen, for who else would ‘a brave the elements, drivin’ their own carriage ‘round town.”

Anne ignored her mother’s exaggerated ravings and continued fixating her eyes on the book, though she did not turn the pages and the tears in her eyes blurred the small black print.

“And ‘e’s taken a likin’ to ye, Anne. ‘E’s goin’ to make ye into a lady, Anne, imagine: me own daughter, me own flesh and blood, a fine lady!” Mrs Murdoch rocked back and forth on her heels, speaking herself into a state of glee, though Anne remained unimpressed.

“I don’t know why you are telling me these things, Mother,” she said, “for they are not going to change my mind about the matter. You...you have forced me into this, and knowing how I feel, you still do not give me leave to get out of it.” Her young face hardened and her mouth set into a thin, determined line. “Well, that’s as may be. But don’t you go trying to change my mind- or my feelings – for your sly ploys will not work on me, Mother.”

Anne drew her hand-sprung armchair further to the hearth with a high-pitched scraping that did nothing to relax the ambience. They sat in silence, the cherry-coloured fire crackling slowly as it burnt up the cedar wood, dispersing earthly aromas across the tense ridges of the atmosphere.

*

London’s capricious weather had taken a turn for the worse when Anne set out again the previous day. Clouds had covered the evening sun and no amount of crepuscular carmine could mitigate the gathering gloom. She hugged herself with long fingers numbed in the icy cold, thankful that she now at least had the money for a cab. Anne hailed a hansom cab, ruing the inclemency of the weather once more as a side wheel slurried her boots and the edge of her gown.

“The King’s Theatre, please,” she said, settling into the seat and leaping clear of the mud splashes as the driver cracked his whip.

“A rare place to be leaving for at this time, on your own, ‘ain’t it, miss?” he asked in an eloquent grunt, as much for the peculiarity of her destination as the elegant cut of her clothes.

“Rare enough,” Anne allowed, pursing her mouth shut to indicate the end of the conversation.

*

“Good evening, Miss Lincombe,” greeted Mr Murdoch upon seeing Anne shivering at the entrance of the theatre. “Heavens, you look quite chilled.”

“Yes...” said Anne through chattering teeth, “I am, a little.”

“Allow me,” he said, and despite his companion’s protests, took off his great overcoat and draped it about her thinly clad shoulders.

“Thank you,” she said, permitting a small, shaky smile to widen her cheeks.

“There now, Anne,” Mr Murdoch said, surveying her approvingly. “Better?”

Anne nodded.

“You are very quiet again, Anne,” Mr Murdoch remarked as he led her through the doors. “I haven’t offended you by love-making?”

“Maybe,” Anne replied quietly, wincing at the reminder.

“So you still do not love me then, Anne?” Mr Murdoch asked, walking towards the audience. His young companion remained silent.

“There is still time,” he muttered. “Excuse me, my dear.” And with that, Mr Murdoch vanished back out of the theatre, before Anne could point out that his overcoat was still buttoned around her shoulders.

She advanced towards the audience, and, upon seeing Henry seated in the front row, shyly sat next to him. He turned to her, and Anne discerned the lineaments of a smile on his face before he averted his drowsy gaze. “It is good to see you, Miss Lincombe,” he said quietly, looking her up and down. “Though in slightly unusual attire.”

Anne quickly grew aware again of the overcoat, and unbuttoned it, chuckling softly. “Oh yes,” she said, “your father was kind enough to oblige.”

“Yes,” Henry said curtly, the dark golden eyes reverting to their previous view of the stage.
Discomfited by the awkward silence that had just broken out, Anne fidgeted in her seat, pulling her white, arm-length gloves on and off her fingers. Henry smiled faintly.

“You’re not quite accustomed to all this finery yet, are you, Miss Lincombe?” he asked.

Anne grinned. “No, indeed not. It seems like only yesterday I was in ragged frocks and the like. I fear society will be disappointed in me.”

They exchanged amused, if not slightly sheepish glances, the stage lights casting a lemon glow to their faces.

“Miss Lincombe?” he said finally. “I was wondering whether you would like to borrow any more books.”
“Oh, oh, yes!” Anne said, her face flushing with eagerness, and then remembering to compose herself. “Oh, I do beg your pardon, sir. I...I am not yet acquainted with the etiquette of...”

“Oh, etiquette,” Henry dismissed with a wave of his hand. “And Mrs Lincombe, have I not asked you to address me as Henry?”

“Indeed,” replied Anne with a quivering voice, “But...but I find it so difficult. Especially since I address your father formally and since...and since you call me by my surname.”

“We can soon amend that,” Henry responded. “If it is your wish.”
“It is,” said Anne. “Thank you, sir...I...I mean, Henry. Henry.”

He cast her a final glance, and then they lapsed into companionable silence as the great scarlet curtains began to raise and a hush fell over the audience as the show began.
Had I the heavens embroider'd cloths,
I would spread the cloths under your feet.
But I being poor, have only my dreams,
So tread softly, for you tread on my life.
  





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58 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1475
Reviews: 58
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:16 pm
LilyJamey says...



Forced myself to crit. Constructive criticism is hard when the chapter is good, and it certainly is. Nevertheless! I will do it.

“Anne?” she said, the concern evident in every wrinkle on the flushed, broad face, so different to her daughter’s white angular countenance.

Different to, or different from?

She advanced towards the audience, and, upon seeing Henry seated in the front row, shyly sat next to him.

Did I miss something, or isn't she an orange girl anymore?

Eurgh. Her mother really doesn't understand, does she? Or is she just so eager to barter her daughter for money?

Loved your chapter, 9.5/10, if not full marks altogether.

Cheers,
Lily.
Got YWS?
  





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Reviews: 273
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:18 pm
Lost_in_dreamland says...



Written in a terrible rush, and it sure as heck shows.1 But I needed to churn something out, however crappy, to keep me sane.2


Chapter 7


It was with a sorry heart that Anne returned home that day, feeling both idiotic and humiliated.3

Seeing her daughter’s head hung in decline and her brimming eyes, Mrs. Lincombe could not help feeling a twinge of guilt, despite her unswayable principles.


“Anne?” she said, the concern evident in every wrinkle on the flushed, broad face, so different to her daughter’s white angular countenance.


Her daughter remained unresponsive, hanging her coat and scarf up on the peg with robotic movements, and limply sitting on her armchair, fixing her attention on the leather-backed novel that Henry had given her.


“Whatever be the matter, silly child?”4 Mrs. Lincombe asked, the words spilling out of her mouth more harshly than she had expected, unable to show the worry etched into her face.


“Nothing,” Anne replied, in more of a whisper than her normal tone – quiet, but steady.


“Come now, girl,” said Mrs. Lincombe, her voice wavering slightly. “I’ve known yer since ye were a mere bairn...yes, a mere bairn. And I know all is not right with yer.”


“You cannot help me, mother,” Anne responded disconsolately, shutting her mother out and escaping into her book in a way that made Mrs Lincombe cringe, because she could not understand this different world her daughter left to, would never understand it.5


She shrugged helplessly, spreading her vein-patterned palms upwards. “’Are ye not happy, child? Any other wench would be ‘a dancin’ with joy to ‘ave a rich gentleman courtin’ her, givin’ her family money. By Jove, gel, I canny understand yer. He ‘as his own carriage with ‘is very own seal on it – what richness6, Anne! And e’s a spirited gentlemen, for who else would ‘a brave the elements, drivin’ their own carriage ‘round town.”


Anne ignored her mother’s exaggerated ravings and continued fixating her eyes on the book, though she did not turn the pages and the tears in her eyes blurred the small black print.


“And ‘e’s taken a likin’ to ye, Anne. ‘E’s goin’ to make ye into a lady, Anne, imagine: me own daughter, me own flesh and blood, a fine lady!” Mrs Murdoch rocked back and forth on her heels, speaking herself into a state of glee, though Anne remained unimpressed.


“I don’t know why you are telling me these things, Mother,” she said, “for they are not going to change my mind about the matter. You...you have forced me into this, and knowing how I feel, you still do not give me leave to get out of it.” Her young face hardened and her mouth set into a thin, determined line. “Well, that’s as may be. But don’t you go trying to change my mind- or my feelings – for your sly ploys will not work on me, Mother.”7


Anne drew her hand-sprung armchair further to the hearth with a high-pitched scraping that did nothing to relax the ambience. They sat in silence, the cherry-coloured fire crackling slowly as it burnt up the cedar wood, dispersing earthly aromas across the tense ridges of the atmosphere.


*


London’s capricious weather had taken a turn for the worse when Anne set out again the previous day. Clouds had covered the evening sun and no amount of crepuscular carmine could mitigate the gathering gloom.8 She hugged herself with long fingers numbed in the icy cold, thankful that she now at least had the money for a cab. Anne hailed a hansom cab, ruing the inclemency of the weather once more as a side wheel slurried her boots and the edge of her gown.


“The King’s Theatre, please,” she said, settling into the seat and leaping clear of the mud splashes as the driver cracked his whip.


“A rare place to be leaving for at this time, on your own, ‘ain’t it, miss?” he asked in an eloquent grunt, as much for the peculiarity of her destination as the elegant cut of her clothes.9


“Rare enough,” Anne allowed, pursing her mouth shut to indicate the end of the conversation.


*


“Good evening, Miss Lincombe,” greeted Mr Murdoch upon seeing Anne shivering at the entrance of the theatre. “Heavens, you look quite chilled.”


“Yes...” said Anne through chattering teeth, “I am, a little.”


“Allow me,” he said, and despite his companion’s protests, took off his great overcoat and draped it about her thinly clad shoulders.


“Thank you,” she said, permitting a small, shaky smile to widen her cheeks.


“There now, Anne,” Mr Murdoch said, surveying her approvingly. “Better?”


Anne nodded.


“You are very quiet again, Anne,” Mr Murdoch remarked as he led her through the doors. “I haven’t offended you by love-making?”


“Maybe,” Anne replied quietly, wincing at the reminder.


“So you still do not love me then, Anne?” Mr Murdoch asked, walking towards the audience. His young companion remained silent.


“There is still time,”10 he muttered. “Excuse me, my dear.” And with that, Mr Murdoch vanished back out of the theatre, before Anne could point out that his overcoat was still buttoned around her shoulders.


She advanced towards the audience, and, upon seeing Henry seated in the front row, shyly sat next to him. He turned to her, and Anne discerned the lineaments of a smile on his face before he averted his drowsy gaze. “It is good to see you, Miss Lincombe,” he said quietly, looking her up and down. “Though in slightly unusual attire.”


Anne quickly grew aware again of the overcoat, and unbuttoned it, chuckling softly. “Oh yes,” she said, “your father was kind enough to oblige.”


“Yes,” Henry said curtly, the dark golden eyes reverting to their previous view of the stage.

Discomfited by the awkward silence that had just broken out, Anne fidgeted in her seat, pulling her white, arm-length gloves on and off her fingers. Henry smiled faintly.


“You’re not quite accustomed to all this finery yet, are you, Miss Lincombe?” he asked.


Anne grinned. “No, indeed not. It seems like only yesterday I was in ragged frocks and the like. I fear society will be disappointed in me.”11


They exchanged amused, if not slightly sheepish glances, the stage lights casting a lemon glow to their faces.


“Miss Lincombe?” he said finally. “I was wondering whether you would like to borrow any more books.”

“Oh, oh, yes!” Anne said, her face flushing with eagerness, and then remembering to compose herself. “Oh, I do beg your pardon, sir. I...I am not yet acquainted with the etiquette of...”


“Oh, etiquette,” Henry dismissed with a wave of his hand. “And Mrs Lincombe, have I not asked you to address me as Henry?”


“Indeed,” replied Anne with a quivering voice, “But...but I find it so difficult. Especially since I address your father formally and since...and since you call me by my surname.”


“We can soon amend that,” Henry responded. “If it is your wish.”

“It is,” said Anne. “Thank you, sir...I...I mean, Henry. Henry.”


He cast her a final glance, and then they lapsed into companionable silence as the great scarlet curtains began to raise and a hush fell over the audience as the show began.


I really liked this chapter, Sarah ;) This critique is kind of rubbish but oh well. I'm so glad that Henry's back in the story *heheehhe, msn :lol:* It wasn't bad, definitely not. How dare you say so!:lol: Anyway, seeing as I'm almost dead and haven't slept for about twenty eight hours I shall begin *waves magic wand*


1. No it doesn't !!!! :D

2 Excuse me, do I not keep you sane? :lol: *hehehehe* but this is really good, Sarah, really good ;)

3. I like the starting sentence. It sums up the last chapter and let's us make way for the next, which rocks ;)

4. Too much of my crap stuff, methinks :lol: Don't fall into my idiot trap of 'I be' :lol: hheheheh it's rather hard to get out of.

5. Ye speak truth, Sarah. Truth, serious truth ;)

6. would riches work better do you think?

7. Good! Don't let her annoy you, Anne.

8. Really, really, really nice imagery ;)

9. I love that line, I can't really explain why, I just do :lol:

10. NO!!!! No there's not still time, Beardy.

11. Fantastic insight here, Sarah ;)

Okay; I'll come back and add to this tomorro , because it stinks just now :lol: but this chapter was really good xD

xxxxxxx
~Your fellow Henry fangirl
*yays* Henry's back...
for what are we without words and stories?
  





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Gender: Female
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Reviews: 273
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:18 pm
Lost_in_dreamland says...



Henry Murdoch is most certainly one of the best literary characters ever created ;)
And that, my dear, is the total, absolute truth.
H E N R Y M U R D O C H
there shall be mountains and lakes named after him:

I have even planned your funeral #*muahaaahahahhaha* *evil smile*

She lived for Henry, through Henry, and with Henry. In every step she took he was there, too. Henry, was her and she was Henry. Through a single mind they seemed to live, but they did not. For in Henry she had created a new person altogether, he was not merely 'a hot creation of her head' but a real life person and through that eternal connection they shall forever be together. Head to head, thoughts to thoughts. Forever they shall remain so. Henry Murdoch, may this ground provide him forever a way to speak with her. May they remain together eternally.

x
*ahem, I most certainly do not have too much time on my hands. Ahem.*

xxx
Last edited by Lost_in_dreamland on Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
for what are we without words and stories?
  





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Reviews: 273
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:19 pm
Lost_in_dreamland says...



a quote from Sarah herself, via msn:
'henry is hot.' ;) Mere example.

she speaks truth, I shall conduct a poll to see who likes Henry :) *nods*

I hereby demand that every reviewer states a personal opinion, so:

I hereby declare my liking for:
A: Mr Murdoch
B: Henry Murdoch
C: Anne Lincombe
D: Mrs Lincombe
E: The horse

The author has demanded that every reviewer states their opinion, otherwise your review shall be discarded ;)
*She didn't actually but I shall just say that she did for the point of it* xD

The poll results so far *This shall be edited*

A: 00000000
B: 00000002
C: 00000000
D: 00000000
Last edited by Lost_in_dreamland on Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
for what are we without words and stories?
  





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Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:00 am
Angel of Death says...



Ha! I think Lost has lost it. Just think, if she saw Henry Murdoch walking down the street she'd half faint from shock. :lol:

But Henry is a good character. He's sweet but I must say that even though I hate Mr. Murdoch I like him more. He's just so mysterious and I love mysterious characters. And I think that even though this was rushed, the mysteriousness you added to Mr. Murdoch's character was a good point in this chapter. Him jetting off without much explanation...it just makes you wonder...

There was only one thing that didn't sit well with me:

“You are very quiet again, Anne,” Mr Murdoch remarked as he led her through the doors. “I haven’t offended you by love-making?”


the love-making bit just made me frown. I think there could be a better word there.

All in all, this wasn't bad. It wasn't the best chapter because not much happened but it was good. I'm a little interested in Henry though because I feel that even though he's not always there, he's a part of the big picture somehow.

Can't wait for the next chapter,

~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
  





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Wed Dec 31, 2008 4:53 am
Merry_Haven says...



*Sarah

Hey, I have read all your chapters and this one also. The reason I have not reviewed them was because I was too immersed in this wonderful story. :wink:

I had a few questions and/or comments when reading...

*Have you seen The Duchess? It's a new movie with the actress Keira Knightly. Anyway, this story reminds me a lot of it. The whole mother selling her daughter to marrying a Duke. Okay, maybe your story doesn't have a Duke, but it sure reminds me of the movie.

*Through out these chapters, I was really confused who was who. Like what was the father's name and the son's. So correct me if I'm wrong, is it James ~ father and Henry ~ son? Or vise versa?

*Okay, the father or son thing, or whoever is forcing themselves on Anne is just a little too much. And the love-making? That just sounds like one of those trashy historical romance novels with the half-naked people on the front cover. (sorry, if you like those novels)

*Oh, and the guy who thinks he owns Anne is just creepy. What in his right mind thinks he owns her? I like a little more background info on that.

Well, if I think of anything else, I will inform you. Great job!

Pm me for eight. Thanks.

*Merry
Mary had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb!

Ugh!! I really hate my name. >.<
  





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Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:34 am
Lost_in_dreamland says...



Ha! I think Lost has lost it. Just think, if she saw Henry Murdoch walking down the street she'd half faint from shock

Heheheh we were talking about this on msn, it was a joke to mock all of the twilighters that are like:
ZOMG EDWARD CULLEN IS THE HAWTEST!!!!
lol, you have no idea how much that made me laugh :lol:
and of course I have lost it :D I lost it a long time ago *removes spectacles even though she doesn't have them* aheheheheh :D
x
for what are we without words and stories?
  





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Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:45 am
CastlesInTheSky says...



Kirsten - Thankyou for you, ahem, slightly frenetic/hyper suggestions and of course, your unduly worshipping of Henry. Not to mention the fansite. :lol: Lol, anyway, your critiques make me fall off my chair with laughter - take it as a compliment. xDDD And thanks for the lengthy points - very helpful.

Angel - Aww, you've been absolutely lovely, reviewing this the whole way through, and I am so indebted to you. You're right, this chapter definitely isn't the best. I'm surprised I even managed to write more than one line of it, because my brain's been numb. But thanks so much. Your comments are always so apt and sweet, and I'm really glad you've followed this through.

Merry - I'm so touched that you've read all the chapters so far, and I'm glad you've enjoyed them, thankyou so much. The relationship with Mr Murdoch is meant to be creepy - maybe you've read Tess of the D'Urbervilles? It's a bit like Tess's relationship with Alec. Mr Murdoch is infatuated with Anne, though of course, there's also a mystery behind it, that will come apparent later. :wink: Oh, and I know the father-son thing is confusing. You've got it spot on: James is the father and Henry is the son.

From now on I'll refer to James as Mr Murdoch and Henry as Henry. That should clear things up a bit. :lol:

Thanks to everyone, you're all darlings! ^_^

x
Had I the heavens embroider'd cloths,
I would spread the cloths under your feet.
But I being poor, have only my dreams,
So tread softly, for you tread on my life.
  








I am and always will be optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes, the dreamer of improbable dreams.
— 11th Doctor