I'm also really nervous about posting this because it was kind of something I didn't do in the last draft so yeah...
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**And thanks to all my faithful critique-rs - Angel of Death, Night Mistress, Meep, Niccy_V, Lucyy, JabberHut, & 200397 - you all are so helpful. I can't thank you enough!**
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CHAPTER THREE
The following morning I was able to wake up of my own accord, stretching luxuriously. Warm buttery sunlight filtered through the window in slanting rays and made the normally invisible dust appear. The tiny particles swirled and dipped like an infinitesimal snowstorm and I watched it for a moment until I heard movement to my right.
Nora was shifting beneath the covers and her yawn signified her awakening. I couldn’t hide the scowl that formed across my lips when she smiled softly at me, as if we were still best friends. It still left me speechless when I struggled to return back to the days when we would talk into the night about Philip and his democracy within the coven; or how hot Carmen looked in his jeans that day. It hurt me even to think about it.
I knew she felt she had to compete with me, as if Carmen was the ultimate prize. How wrong she was… I had no feelings beyond friendship for Carmen. Yeah, I thought he was a one fine-looking vampire, being Blessed and all, but that didn’t mean I had the hots for him.
Shrugging off the sheets, I let my feet fall to the floor. My toes rejected it, curling in on themselves at the frigid nature of the ground. I heard Nora shift behind me but I refused to turn and face her like I knew she wanted me to.
Instead, I shuffled to the closet and rummaged through the large pile of clothes grouped on the floor until I found a rumpled pair of chords and a red tee shirt from Target. Once I was clothed, I ran a brush hurriedly through my hair, conscious of Nora watching my every move.
I turned just as Nora reached down and pulled a cardboard box from under her bed. I paused, curious, as I watched her carefully unfold the top. My stomach clenched uncomfortably as I saw her pull out a perfectly folded pair of jeans and a purple tank. She took the clothes into her hands and stood up. Our eyes met, but only for a fraction of a second as she walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. I continued to stare at the cardboard box, square flaps waving slightly at their preciously position on the top as a gentle breeze blew through the open window.
Today was moving day.
How could I have woken up and not remembered? Spinning to stare in astonishment at my pile of messy and wrinkled clothes, I suddenly felt like breaking down. It wasn’t like me to lose control like that but my knees wobbled underneath me, as if they could no longer hold my weight or the unexpected pressure of added worries upon my shoulders.
We were leaving our home, our safe-haven. It was hard for me to cope with that, to imagine memories made not on the banks of the Mille Lacs Lake or on the porch swing, talking into the night.
The sunlight abruptly refracted with a soft flash of white, temporarily blinding me, and I twisted to see the music box on the end table exactly where I had put it the night before. Returning to my bed, I took the box into my hands, marveling again at the smoothness of the silver and the immaculate features. I fingered the lock, tinkling magically as I let it fall back against the wall of the box.
Sighing, I closed my eyes and let my head to fall back on my shoulders. Loosening my hold on the music box, I reached out to the only person I could. Yamari, please guide me. I know you sent me this box so that somehow I could be at peace with this move. Yet, I’m more restless than I was before. I need your help now, more than ever. Please, send me a sign.
I gasped when a gust of wind blew through the open window, hitting me squarely in the back, pushing me forward with a start. The music box fell from my hands with a clatter and I hurriedly picked it up, inspecting it for any sign of a scratch. As I flipped it over, I spotted for the first time a signature carved into the bottom of the box.
Anisha Hunt.
My Birth Mother.
My hands started to shake as I stared, mouth falling agape. It had been a long, long time since I'd thought of her; seeing her name, now abandoned and unused, brought back all of my former memories and questions. She was someone I would never be able to really know. Philip had only told me the necessities—that Anisha had saved me when I was at the brink of death. Supposedly, I had been diagnosed with cancer at the age of eighteen and Anisha had been watching me for quite some time, had watched me struggle and decided that it was up to her to save me.
It still surprised me that my story of my Birth was unique from other vampires. Most were changed by doctors or lovers who couldn’t stand to live without one another. However, a woman I hadn’t ever met chose me, had somehow found a part in her heart—a compassion—to save a young human girl she didn’t even know.
Most vampires still kept in touch with their Birth Mothers or Fathers—the ones who changed them. It was like having a set of parents. Philip had also told me that Anisha had been one of the Blessed—part of the select few vampires who were graced with beautiful appearances. Philip had told me that long ago, all vampires had once looked like gods but as time went on, that gene had slowly faded, and now, only few were born with such amazing magnificence.
I wasn’t one of the Blessed. I was just average. Just plain Sophia Hunt, same as when I was human.
Or so I was told. I had no memory of my human life. Sometimes I dreamed of brief moments in my human life, but those as well as my Birth, had long disappeared. I found this frustrating, wanting to have these human memoirs. I knew that some of my fellow coven members did remember their Birth and their human lives, and I sometimes envied them. It would have been nice to be able to revisit these memories once in a while and to find solace in them.
Like now, when I discovered my Birth Mother’s name engraved on the bottom of the music box given to me by Yamari.
Grumbling with immediate agitation at the re-entry of Nora, I set the music box back onto the end table and proceeded to stand. “I could help you pack if you wanted?”
Nora’s question startled me into silence. Was she actually being nice to me?
“No, I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.”
She frowned. “Suit yourself.” She flicked a lock of perfectly styled hair over her shoulder and retreated from the room. I could hear the commotion of awakening vampires when she opened the door, sounding a lot like the rumble of ocean surf crashing against a beach. Voices and scents mingled together to create a calming oasis that I lost myself in, but I only allowed the luxury for a moment as I treaded over to my closet and started shoving the clothes into the only bag I owned.
An hour later, all my personal belongings were packed unsystematically into a backpack and a garbage bag with pieces of duck tape labeling them as mine pasted on. I straightened, hands on my hips, feeling a sense of pride that I had finally accomplished packing. “Finally done, I see?” a teasing voice filled the room.
Eyes flickering towards the doorway, I saw Michael standing there, one leg looped over the other as he leaned nonchalantly against the door frame. Vibrant and plush curls shaded a most peculiar orange wove around his head and coiled demurely around his ears. Freckles dotted his checks, faint near his temples but more profound the closer they got to his nose. His face was softly defined, nose a gentle slope and curve, lips small and slender. It was like he had never matured beyond the youthful age of fifteen, though when my eyes traveled down to his body, it told a different story.
It was hard not to notice the defined muscles outlined by his fitting tank and my eyes fought against me as they lingered on the gentle incline of his hips and trim thighs defined by worn jeans. When my eyes flickered back up to his face, his smile was convivial and filled me with warmth, a rare, genuine smile lifting my lips.
“Yeah, finally,” I answered, throwing the backpack onto my shoulder as I reached for the garbage bag.
“Here, let me help.” When he rushed over and wrapped his hands around the handles, I caught the scent emitted from his pores. It was thick and reminded me of the sweet, syrupy pine forests surrounding the manor.
Instead of arguing that I was definitely strong enough to lift a simple garbage bag, I just settled for a simple, “Thank you.”
This made Michael’s peach-colored eyebrow shoot upward in surprise. “Wow, what happened? Since when does someone learn manners overnight?”
I shoved him, making him stumble, but it was an innocent enough gesture and his almond-colored eyes sparkled with mischief. “I was just being nice,” I mumbled, taking a step towards the door.
He shook his head, mystified, but then, called me back. “Hey, what about that?”
I twisted my neck around to see the music box that Yamari gave me glinting innocuously in the late morning light. “Oh, yeah.” I jogged over, sliding the backpack off and opening it enough so that I could gently nestle the box with a wad of clothes on each side to cushion it on the trip up to Duluth.
“Is that the one from Yamari?” Michael’s voice was soft, and my eyes lifted to his. His gaze was locked on the box until I zipped the backpack up, hiding it from view. Then, his eyes returned to me.
I nodded. “She said she hoped that it would bring me calm in this stressful time.”
Michael shifted his weight, hauling the garbage bag higher up on his shoulder. “Does it?”
I felt a smile tug at my lips when I thought of my Birth Mother’s name engraved on the bottom. Even if she had passed away early in my transformation, I could only feel a sense of tranquility descend upon me at the thought of her. “Yeah, I guess it has.” I looked up and met his eyes.
He smiled, soft but sincere. “I’m glad.”
“Come on people, we can’t wait forever,” a familiar baritone shouted in the hallways. I stiffened as Carmen paused in front of my doorway. He caught sight of Michael and took a step inside. “Soph, packed already?”
“Shocker, I know.” I couldn’t help the slightly downturn of my lips at the sight of him.
Carmen paused, eyes cagey, before he answered, this time directing his question to Michael. “Is the car ready to go?”
“Yeah, Randy was just finishing up when I came inside.”
“Good.” Carmen eyes flickered to mine and he seemed to want to say more when Nora’s fanciful voice mixed with all the others as she too entered the room.
I tugged on the collar of my shirt, suddenly feeling like the room was too crowded and that it was getting extremely warm. My first instinct was to make a run for it, but Nora and Carmen blocked my only exit. I knew what was coming but I wished to avoid it with all that I had in me.
“Carmen, Randy just said that we could hit the road.” Her voice was overly perky, and I cringed. It was too early for this.
She stopped short at the sight of me. A frown plucked at her lips, but she fought it and showered Carmen with her pre-eminent smile. He basked under it, standing a bit taller with her at his side. I knew that part of the whole issue was Carmen’s undeniably large ego. I had loved him despite that, but now, it seemed to be all that I could see. Especially with the gorgeous Nora at his side, looking smug.
Carmen glanced down at her and I saw for only the second time that glimmer in his eyes that could make any female presence within a hundred mile radius melt right there at his feet. There was something there, something I could never voice into words, that made the person he was looking at feel like the only girl in the world for him.
I remembered back to when he only reserved that look for me.
“Yeah, okay, Nora, I’ll be there in a second.” Carmen’s voice shook me from my mental reasoning and I glanced warily over at Michael, who shot me a sympathetic grin. Michael knew all about the issues surrounding me, yet he was the only one out of the group who had yet to judge me. It was nice to know that I was still the same Sophia in his eyes.
Nora seemed to falter at his words but quickly recovered and I knew that I was the only one who saw the mishap in her demeanor. “All right, I’ll meet you out there.” With another warning glance in my direction, she sauntered from the room. Michael made a move to follow but I cried out to stop him, not wanting to be alone with Carmen, who eyed me curiously at my outburst. “Michael, wait!”
He paused, smiling softly. “I gotta finish loading the SUV.” He nodded to Carmen and then retreated.
Coward, I thought, my hands curling into fists at my side.
“Sophia, I know what you were thinking last night, about me and Nora, but you have it all wrong. We were watching a movie and she fell asleep halfway through, that’s it.”
I wanted to call him a liar; I wanted to disbelieve everything he told me. Yet, I knew I was wrong. I could hear the truth in his voice, the heavy tone as he pleaded with me to understand.
And I caved.
“Yeah, I guess you could say I overreacted a little.”
“A little? You threw me across the room!”
“That’s when you snuck up on me, not because of that,” I defended, but paused when I saw the glimmer of merriment in his eyes, and knew he was kidding.
“So, we can put that behind us and have a good trip up to Duluth?” He held out his hand to shake but I just stared at it as if it was alien to me. Since when did we shake hands? Had so much changed between us that we couldn’t even exchange friendly hugs without Nora breathing fire about it afterwards? I eyed it with a raised brow and took a firm step forwards, ignoring his outstretched palm.
“Deal.” I nodded once and then made a move to step around him, but he caught my forearm in his hand, and I paused to face him. His eyes had transformed into liquid gold and I instantly tensed underneath his grip.
“I don’t want things to continue to worsen between us, Soph. Please, believe that much.”
“I know.” I answered without thought and met his gaze. “I want things to go back to the way they were before but I don’t think they will… will they?”
A furrow formed between his brow as he pondered over my words. “Why? Why can’t it?”
“You know why,” I stated cryptically.
Carmen sighed, releasing my arm and running a hand through his hair. He only did that when he was anxious or upset and it reminded me of all the times we shared, the memories we had created together.
“I’ll stop seeing her if you want me to,” he softly uttered, his lips barely moving as he spoke.
“We both know you would if I asked. But that’s not what I want. I want you to be happy and I can’t give you the happiness you need, Carmen. That night when you asked me to be yours, I turned you down, and that still stands.” A spasm of pain so sharp and raw crossed his features and it made me shudder at the sight of it. I didn’t want to cause him any more hurt than I already had but these things needed to be said. We were leaving the manor and when we reached Duluth, we needed to start a-new.
That meant that old wounds needed to be healed first and rifts settled.
“But my feelings still stand the same for you.” His voice was hoarse, as if the effort was too much for him to handle.
“I know. And for that, I forgive you. I know you have feelings for Nora, even if they aren’t on the same level they were for me. I want you to have that again, and if it has to be with Nora, so be it. I can survive.” I couldn’t resist when my hand lifted to linger on his cheek, fingertips tracing the dark circles rimming his eyes, signifying the little sleep he had gotten last night. Worrying over me, no doubt.
This had to end. I wanted my old Carmen back and my friend Nora. I wanted things to be right between us. So, with a deep breath, I let my hand fall from his face and I said the thing I knew that would shake Carmen from the daydream he had been living in for the past few months.
“My feelings for you will never change, Carmen. You are like a brother to me and always will be. So go to Nora. She needs you more than I do.” Taking a step back, I felt wetness pool inside my eyes. I fought against it but a single tear escaped sliding serenely down my cheek.
Carmen spotted it and swiped it away, his hands coming to cup my face. “Why, Soph, does it have to end here? What if I want to be with you?” His voice was nothing more but a caress against my skin.
“It can’t happen because I don’t feel the same for you.” Like he had been slapped, Carmen flinched, eyes blinking closed as if he was in agony. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, hoping this would be the last time that I hurt him.
“Please, Carmen. This is the way things have to be.” I covered his hands still on my cheeks with my own, trying to reassure him with more than just words.
His head fell slightly as if defeated, but then, he lifted his eyes. They were no longer liquid gold, but sorrowful puddles that hauled the breath from my lungs. “Very well. I can’t make you feel the way you do for me.”
He leaned forward and I squeezed my eyes shut as his lips brushed my forehead. He was so close that I could feel his icy body heat and smell his scent that was like nothing I could ever describe—so unique and desirable.
I could more or less feel rather than hear his last words spoken against my skin:
“But I wish I could.”
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