Young Writers Society

As many of you know, Fat Boy will not be posted after Day 10. I don't want to have a bazillion threads for Fatty, so these next few days I'll try to make the best and the funniest. I'll still continue writing Run, Fat Boy, Run! because it's so much fun, but none of you will see it. Maybe, one day, you'll walk into a store and see it. Then you'll ask yourself, "What kind of a publisher would publish this?!"

Here you go. 'o' >> That's my new signature simily.

A/N: And yes, this is insanely short. I'm sorry.

-

Day Seven


Is it possible to fall in love with a girl over a fart? It was just a little squeaker, too. Nothing big. It sounded like what would happen if you sat on a deflated balloon.

I was in the school library, right, searching for the next book in my favorite series. I was alone, but then a girl entered. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brianna Pulverson. She’s not a girl that I’m very fond of talking to. She’s always ignored me and I’ve always ignored her. Well… maybe ignored isn’t the right word. We didn’t communicate. At all.

Brianna was doing this really weird thing with her hand. She would rub the book’s spine she was holding and determine if she wanted it. It was really strange. It was almost as if the book had to have a certain texture, or she wouldn’t read it. She went through dozens of books like that, and I thought she was really weird, so I was watched her. Not staring or anything. I didn’t want her to think I was a stalker.

And then she squatted, searching the bookshelf closest to the ground. That’s about the time that I heard it. As I mentioned before, it was like she had sat on a deflated balloon. It was just a squeak, but it was loud enough that she gasped and launched herself up. She spun around the room, making sure no one had heard it. Her eyes found me, and her face turned an alarming shade of scarlet.

We stared at each other for a moment. I was shocked. Completely mortified. A girl had just farted! A girl! There was about a ten second pause before I burst out laughing. I covered my mouth with my hand and turned away from her, and Brianna muttered something under her breath. It sounded like “Oh, no…”

Brianna didn’t know what to do. I was trying to keep my laugh quiet so the librarian wouldn’t yell and waddle over to us. Brianna’s face was a neon red.

“Please,” she begged, “don’t tell anyone! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do it. Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” She held her hands up defensively, and her eyes were pleading with me. They were like blue pearls.

I nodded, still laughing. Here was this perfect blonde girl, farting all over the library! It was just too funny.

“I trust you. Please don’t tell anyone.”

I think it was then that it hit me. No, not the stench of her fart, but the meaning of which she spoke. She trusted me. Trusted me. That was more than all of the other kids at school could do.

I instantly stopped laughing and stared into her eyes. She was still blushing as she turned away and scurried out of the library, leaving me breathless.

Right when I got home that day, I instantly went to my dictionary and threw it open. I looked up the word trust. This is the definition I found:

Trust -noun
Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

She relied on me to keep her secret safe. But not just that! According to the dictionary, she trusted my strength too. Man, I felt so high right then that I could do anything! I had never felt this before. It was a totally new experience, and I loved it. I was jittery and bouncy. For the first time in a long time, I actually wanted to lose weight. Maybe, just maybe, if I did, she would like me. Because – face it – skinny girls don’t like fat boys.

Skinny girls do too like fat boys! Gah! Jared! Gah gah gah! Lol. -Ailam

LOLLOLLOLLOL!!!

This was so funny!! It is so cute too! Is there more then this? I must know!

Go fat boy! Go! Get the girl! PM when your next comes! Please!!

Hey, Jared, and thanks so much for letting me know about this!

Alrighty then. I wouldn't have guessed that I'd like a chapter that's all about farting. Haha. But I liked it, or at least the text and language. It's smooth and flexible like toffee, and that's what I like about it. It was so funny how the girl was kind of paranoid about not wanting anyone to know about her... mistake, and how Fat Boy's obsessed over the trust.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Brianna Pulverson.

This is in present tense, isn't it? Well, the other parts of text are in past tense. Of course, you could you present tense as an effect in this sentence, but I just wanted to point that out, in case you haven't noticed it.

an alarming shade of scarlet.

Somewhat cliché, but I have to admit it works well!

so I was watched her

Was watching, or watched?

Trust -noun

Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

You might guess what other series by you I thought of when I read this.


Ah, but these were my nit-pickies for today. You know I love this, so I'm not going to particularly highlight that. Just PM me when the next part comes, pleeeease? *puppy face*


Demeter xxx

oooooh. This was the best chapter yet! And Ailam was right. Skinny girls do like fat boys.
I hate that word. fat. It's so inhumane. I prefer to call it chubby. Yes, I will now use chubby instead of fa.........t. Thank you Jared. Your story is awesome.

Oh man, Jared, you have outdone yourself with this one! My sister came into my room wondering why I was laughing so hard! Anyway, this review will be pretty much pointless because I found nothing that needed to be fixed and such. But I'll tell you every line that I particularly enjoyed.

Is it possible to fall in love with a girl over a fart? It was just a little squeaker, too. Nothing big. It sounded like what would happen if you sat on a deflated balloon.

Excellent first sentence. I immediately wanted to know why er... flatulence was such a big key in this chapter. xD "Just a little squeaker"? LOL for real this time!

It was really strange. It was almost as if the book had to have a certain texture, or she wouldn’t read it.

This strongly reminded me of my friend LaBooty (long story about her name. All that you have to know is that it involves the movie Ratatouille and some French music...), because she smells the books before she even dares to read them. If she likes the smell then she reads it. If it stinks, she won't look at it twice. She a... strange girl. xD Anyway, Brianna sounds like quite the character. Heh.

A girl had just farted! A girl!

It's been said to happen, you know. xD But it's so very rare!

Brianna didn’t know what to do. I was trying to keep my laugh quiet so the librarian wouldn’t yell and waddle over to us.

I was reminded of March of the Penguins about now.

I think it was then that it hit me. No, not the stench of her fart, but the meaning of which she spoke.

LOL LOL LOL!!!! -dies of laughter-

And as the others said. Ailam is totally right. Girls think a lot more about personality than just looks than you give them credit for. Good looks are just a bonus. And I imagine guys feel the same way. Anywhoo, sorry I gave you such a crappy review, but at least you know that I love it. I'll be waiting your next PM eagerly. And wait a second... what happened to those 5 reviews you promised me...? xD

BigBadBear,

I saw this title and was immediately intrigued! This is very creative writing. I read the first six before the seventh (even though I did see the seventh before I went off to read the other six, am I confusing you?). Sorry, I didn't know exactly how to spit that out.

The seventh was absolutely my favorite though. Myself, I could never imagine falling for a girl over a fart, even if she did trust me not to tell anyone. I would tell people, by the way. I admire your MC for keeping his promise.

One tiny question though, I noticed your description said 'based on true events' and I couldn't help but wonder, are these events yours, or perhaps someone elses that you happen to know?

Perfect grammer, you must be a professional, eh?

Sorry this wasn't really a crit, just wanted to say this was funny and keep up the good work.

I cannot wait for more, Bear, my friend. PM me when the eighth cahpter is posted, kay man?

So... Keep up the good work.

-Sadie

Nit-Picks

I was in the school library, right,

What's the point of the 'right?'

I [s]see [/s]saw

so I [s]was [/s]watched her.

Brianna didn’t know what to do.

How's Fatty know that? Ditch it.

I was trying to keep my laugh quiet so the librarian wouldn’t yell and waddle over to us. Brianna’s face was a neon red.

Spice up some of those sentences – add a comma or something.

“I trust you.

Maybe 'I'm trusting you?' 'cause if she already did, then she wouldn't be begging him...?

I looked up the word 'trust'. [s]This is the definition I found: [/s]

The last bit is not needed - we can figure it out. And it's like saying 'In this essay, I will say...' Eww.

Overall Comments

*Hits Jare* It's short and has no mistakes, so my critiques are useless. Therefore, I won't make this count as a contest prize critique if you'd life - it took me about five minutes, so that's not fair.

PM me for anything!

~JFW1415

This was funny. Quite ironic for Fatty to fall in love with a girl over a fart, no? But it is possible, I suppose. People fall in love for unobvious reasons sometimes.

Great chapter, please PM me when you post chapter 8.

*~*Kiss*~*