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Young Writers Society


Valentine's Day Sucks: Ethan's Take 4/9



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14 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 14
Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:49 pm
roxythekiller says...



When we didn’t talk about sex, we played video games. Super Mario World, Halo, even Pokemon--- you name it, we probably played it. When we got closer, he started to tell me things. How his teachers always thought he was cheating when he wasn’t. How people mocked his accent and how he would continue to wear cowboy boots just so. How he, if he could choose any superpower, would choose the power to stop time so he could play sports and get out of the way before a bigger guy rammed into him.
I told him that mind control would be a better power, since then you could control the actions of your enemies and make them crash into each other. We argued about that for roughly one hour, until he finally yelled at me that thinking took the fun out of sports and that mind control was a vague power. So vague, in fact, that it might be linked to telepathy, which would result in an unwanted barrage of thoughts.
I toyed with the idea of telling him that I had those without any magic power.

Toby used to play football, but whenever he did he was always the guy under every other guy in the pile. Soccer went well until he injured his leg and after that he just wasn’t fast enough for the track team. I suggested table tennis to him, but he said it was a wimpy sport. We left it at that.

When I got involved in sports it clicked right away. I guess Toby became a little bitter over that, but he never told me to quit. I jokingly asked him one time if he was jealous, and he said,
“Yeah, but that’s a stupid reason to stop being with someone. A real friend has the balls to stay with someone when they’re up, not just when they’re down.”

It took me some time to understand what that meant.

I think that it’s because of that that he never left my side--- I left his.

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s easy to be a hero to someone who’s a mess. It makes you look good. It’s harder to be their sidekick.”

“…What’s a sidekick?”

“Jeez! Where’d you learn English?”

“Germany.”

“Figures.”

“Well… I don’t see you speaking German.”

“That’s ‘cuz I’m taking French.”

“Oh really? Show me.” I leaned my elbows on my knees and smugly put down my controller.

“You want to see my French?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Voulez vous couches avec moi, ce soir?”

“You’re saying it wrong.”

Toby paused for a long while, then pushed his lips to the side and said, “Obviously, you have more experience with this phrase than me.”

“Me? No. But it will help you when you go to France.” I teased him.

“I’m never going to France.”

“Why?”

“They hate Texans.”

“With your command of the French language, you’ll definitely ease political tensions.”

“Shut up Ethan, you’re not funny!”

“Then why are you smiling?”

It was one of the last times that year I saw him smile, and felt the warmth that it made.


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CHAPTERS

Part 1/9
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Part 2/9
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Part 3/9
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Part 4/9
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User avatar
28 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 28
Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:28 pm
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Aly_Tobias says...



While this is interesting there's just too much dialogue. Tell us what they're doing while they're talking, give us a description of their attitudes, emotions, and facial expressions. Other than that, I like it as always. :D
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