Just something a little different that I thought of in the spur of the moment. Suggestions are, of course, welcome so keep 'em coming. See if you can guess what the poem is about.
I watch you in the dead of night,
With eyes that shine with pure delight;
Or is it all simple insight
For me to watch your tragic plight,
Would sure bring screams of ample fright.
Line three seems to just... throw it off a little, yes? It's a bit shorter than the others. I think you should make the poem as a whole a bit longer; you know, for those of us who can't guess what the speaker is... well, speaking about.
I guess... something dark. Vampire? *has vampires on the brain*
Loved it. I can't write mysterious poetry. It's just like, here's what happened... blah... blah. I awknowledge your wonderous talent.
"Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen; depart, be lost, but climb." -Edna St. Vincent Millay
Help me get that second star! If you need a review, just send me a PM. (Keep it PG, please. Except for violence... I can handle that. ^^ )