AN: Read this first: This is a retelling of the real little Mermaid (ie. the one where she kills herself in the end). The thing is, I've had this in my head and bits written down for years now, from Frieda's point of view. I thought, just to keep it at my fingertips, I'd try Deepest's PoV. I ended up quite liking it. This is the result, or at least, the first part of the result.
Deepest's Tale
Daddy can be so mean sometimes.
So we’re sitting at dinner, the ten of us together, and he’s talking about something or another. Probably seahorse racing, or the dolphin rebellions or something.
Azure and Violet sit either side of him. Then Sapphire and Turquoise, then Jade and Emerald, then Light and Night. I sit at the very end, facing Father. How I can’t wait until Azure gets married, then we can all move and I can be next to Night.
But still, we’re sitting there, with oysters in front of us and Daddy is talking. Azure and Violet are sucking up to him and smiling and laughing. Sapphire and Jade are sitting together plotting, while their respective twins sit on the other side, the perfect ladies.
We all look different. My nurse maid said that a mermaid’s hair and tail showed what part of the sea they were meant for.
Azure is completely average, with seaweed red hair that’s so common, and a green tail. Green tails mean you’re middle sea. Jade, Emerald and Light all have green tails, except jade and Emerald have green-yellow hair. Nearly half of the merpeople in the citadel have green tails.
Sapphire, Turquoise and Night all have bright blue tails. A blue tail means you were born for deep sea, my nurse used to say. All three have black, black hair, that sometimes seems blue.
Then Violet and I have silver tails. Silver might be common in fish, but not so in merpeople. A silver tail meant you were born for the shallows. Which is why I hate my name, it doesn’t make any sense.
People always say Violet’s beautiful, but I don’t see why she’s beautiful and not me. We have the same hair. Gold. Not yellow, real proper gold, like people above the surface. Our skin is also the clearest. All the others have some sort of tinge to their skin, but not us. It’s creamy pink.
I have the same eyes as Violet as well, dark, like the sea in a storm.
The legends say that we’re unlucky. We are always lured to the land.
Which is rubbish. I’m not always up on shore like Azure. She has a friend up there. Her name is Frieda. She’s the princess of The Island Kingdom. I’ve seen her a few times. She’s a mouse of a thing. Azure told us all one day how Frieda’s afraid of being trapped anywhere. She once saw her sister killed in a fire when she was little and hasn’t been the same since.
Anyway, I’m here to tell a story, I just needed to tell you who Frieda is so you’ll understand.
When Daddy finishes speaking, Azure starts telling him about the newcomers on the shore. They live further down on the coast of the mainland. Our kingdom stretches there, but we never go.
“There’s four of them,” Azure says. “Prince Charming and Princess Juliet, and their consorts Rella and Anthony.”
“Rella?” says father. “That’s an unusual name, even for people up on shore.”
I should mention now that we don’t speak the same language, not really. But if you have a seashell or a starfish or something in your hair, and the land person does too, you can understand each other perfectly.
“Yes,” says Azure. “Frieda says it’s all really weird. They picked the girl at a ball, where all the girls in the city were invited, but she ran away half way through according to Juliet. They only found her again by chance. Apparently, and this bit is really odd, she had really small feet. She had managed to leave one of her shoes behind and they found her by seeing who the shoe fitted.”
Daddy frowns. “They tried it on every girl in the city?”
“No, you see, Anthony, that’s Juliet’s husband, had just started work in the palace before the ball. It turned out he had been a friend of Rella before that, and he led them to her.”
Daddy shakes his head. “They really are bizarre creatures. And what does Frieda say about these foreigners?”
“Oh, she says they’re nice enough. You know Frieda, she’ll like anyone who eats fish. She says they’re quiet and thoughtful, which should please her.”
I get bored easily with talk of Frieda. I make this known by snorting.
Daddy looks at me. “Yes Deepest? Have you something to say?”
I flick my tail. “No. I just don’t see why we should take an interest on what goes on onshore.”
Daddy puts down an empty oyster shell. “Now Deepest, you know that your ancestors-”
“That my ancestors made an everlasting alliance with the people of The Island Kingdom. I know. But why should we talk about it?”
Azure bends down to look at me past my other sisters. “Deepest, Frieda is an old friend. I don’t know why suddenly you’ve taken such a dislike to her. You used to love hearing about up on surface. You even used to come up and visit. Not anymore.”
“Maybe I don’t want to spend all my time with my sisters and their friends, have you ever thought of that?” I say.
Indigo turns to me. “Would you like to go pearl-hunting tomorrow with us Deepest? Jade and Emerald and I?”
“I’m too old for pearl-hunting Violet.”
Violet looks surprised at this.
“How can you be too old when we’re not?” says Jade. Sapphire smirks beside her. The two of them think they’re so clever.
“I just don’t like it.” I say.
“Okay.” says Violet. It really bugs me how she’s always able to act so calm. She never loses her temper, and she doesn’t expect any of us to either. “We could sing.”
“I hate singing, you know that.” I say darkly.
“You’ve got a great voice.” says Turquoise. “Better than the rest of us put together probably.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” I mutter.
“Deepest what has gotten into you lately?” Daddy says. “You never want to do anything, you’re not interested in anything, you don’t talk to us.”
“It’s a boy.” says Sapphire nodding wisely. Turquoise and Jade laugh into their shells.
“Don’t be ridiculous Sapphire, just because no boy ever looks at you.”
It’s true though. No one ever does look at her twice. No merman wants a wife who spends all her time swimming around doing endless dares. What makes it even worse for her is the fact she hangs out with Jade. Everyone knows that by rights she should be spending her time with Turquoise. It’s plain unusual in my opinion.
“Deepest! That’s a horrible thing to say.” says Azure. She’s so annoying! She always tries to act like dear Frieda, all calm and sensible and motherly. Well, it doesn’t work on me.
“I’m not happy with your behaviour lately,” Daddy says down the table to me. “None of your other sisters act like this.”
“Well I’m not my other sisters am I? I’m me, I’m Deepest, though that shouldn’t be my name, I’m somebody different, even if none of you pay attention to me.”
“Go to your chamber.” says Daddy. “You will stay there all evening.”
“Gladly.” I say. I flick my tail hard as I swim up, I open the door to my room and slam it close behind me.
I can hear them talking about me below. I bend down. I have the lowest
bedroom in the palace, and there’s a gap in the coral where I can see the hall below.
“Father, there’s something wrong with her,” says Azure. “She’s been acting so strange lately. I don’t think it’s a boy, or anything like that. I don’t know what it is.”
“It couldn’t be the lure of, you know, the shore?” asks Night. “She’s a silver-tail after all.”
Violet sighs. “I don’t think so, I was never like this.”
“But as she says, she’s not any of us.” Azure says.
Well, finally, she’s onto something! At last, the wisdom of our future ruler is shining through!
“Are you and Lazuli going out tonight?” Daddy asks her.
“Yes, if that’s alright, we were going to go down to Tide Market.”
“Go ahead.” Daddy smiles at her.
That’s right, Azure, Daddy’s little golden girl! It drives me mad! What has Azure got? Nothing. She’s not very pretty, she hasn’t got a nice voice, she isn’t intelligent, but just because she’s the eldest! Once, my old nurse said it was because she reminded him of Mum. Well, I hope she reminds him too much of Mum and something horrible happens to her because of it! What a terrible queen she’ll be, rushing to the surface at every little problem. And Lazuli, her betrothed, he isn’t much better! Oh, the others think he’s perfectly witty and charming, but I can see he just wants to be king. It’s true! If Azure was an oyster trader, or a professional pearl hunter, he wouldn’t be interested in her at all. But she’s crown princess so of course he wants to marry her.
I’m going to marry whoever I want, and none of them can stop me.
I swim out to my balcony. The citadel’s all lit up. I can just about see Azure meeting Lazuli at the front of the palace. He’s deep sea, blue tail and black hair.
I can hear my sisters downstairs, practising. Emerald’s off key. She nearly always is. Besides, they’re trying to sing a nine-part harmony without two of us.
I’ve gotten so sick of nine-part harmonies. I have a better voice than all of them put together, but I barely ever get the solos. Well not for much longer.
There’s a storm brewing, it’s going to hit us pretty soon. And then, when we search for the lost sailors, little Deepest will disappear and none of them will have the courage to come and stop me.
And now, you know what you have to do! Please?
I like the idea of having a 'daddy's little girl' type figure, but could you possibly add more detail to the main character? Also, is she called 'Deepest' I wasn't sure whether it was a substitute for 'dearest' or not. Anyway, it's a very good beginning, and I wish you luck with it. Please write more soon!
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