The One-Way Ladder

[i]This is one of the shortest poems i have written for the last three years! Read on!
[/i]

The One-Way Ladder

There is a ladder,
an eternal one,
NO one knows
Where it had begun.
No one yet,
has reached the top,
Once you climb,
you cannot stop.
Up,up,up-
you cannot descend,
One step taken,
the last steps end.
The one-way ladder-
the Ladder of Time,
you are destined to climb it,
Until you fall.




[i]And believe it or not,i wrote this under three minutes! What do you think?[/i]

I actually kinda like the ending, very blunt.

BAM! Until you fall!

Mwahahaha. It's cool.

Very good It seems like a metaphor for time itself...In fact, this poem sort of compliments my philosophical ramblings last night.

My only suggestions are:

Instead of-

Sohini wrote:Where it had begun.

Perhaps, "Where it began"-it just seems to flow better.

And-

Sohini wrote:you cannot descend

Perhaps, "you can't descend"-again, it just flows better.

I'm not too sure if I liked the ending or not, but I think it did suit your purposes.

This is pretty good. Could use some revisions, but I have no particular comments. I like the metephore, though. It's something that could be interpreted many different ways.

Great job! But I would recommend doing
Where it begun
instead of
Where it had begun

And the ending-I really think it needs to rhyme. All about rhythm man. I mean the poem is like la-la-la, and then BAM! It's not bad, but maybe you could make it rhyme? Pwetty please? *does puppy dog eyes*
Ach, but you're the writer and I'm the reader. There is a difference, isn't there? And I kind of like the ending a little-I guess it depends on how you look at it.
Not bad for under 3 min.

Sohini wrote:NO one knows

Does NO have to be capitalized?

Where it had begun.

I'd change it to Where it began

Up,up,up-

Need that hyphen?

The one-way ladder-

Again, need the hyphen at the end?

Until you fall.

Eh. Not my favorite ending.

Nice job, though. I liked the way it flowed--very good. Like Wiggy said, not bad for under three minutes.

A pretty good "power-poem", if you will. Like Cassandra said, theose hyphens you don't really need.

Perhaps you could put the last line in italics, or do something, just so that it hits the reader dead-on, makes a bigger impact.

Hah. This is cute. When you say Ladder of Time, though, I think that's just way too blatantly obvious and a waste of a line. Oh, and I think it should rhyme, too. OCD!

Glad to see you back, CL. I can't wait until I am.

thank you all.

thanks for the help, i need the 'Where it begun' line.

about the ending, i saw it that way MH did-with a much-needed un-rhymed BAM!

thanks for the punctuation correction, CL.

what a grand idea David Guinness-i'll do that!