Random Sonnet

This sonnet has no name, if anyone can suggest one that would be useful. Enjoy.

Look up high and maybe you will see,
Soaring in the open clear azure,
A creature of perfection, always free,
Beauty undiminished and heart so pure.

Wings swept back as graceful arcs of light,
Rainbows follow, shine like precious jewels,
To dance among the stars is her delight,
And taunt those on the ground and call them fools.

Oh! How I wish that I could join the grace,
That is her flight across the bright blue sky,
And race with her and match her speeding pace,
I know this can’t be done, the question’s ‘why?’

Why can I not fly up in the air?
Can it not be done with just one prayer?

EDIT = Typo... (I edited this typo THREE times!!! I'm still not sure about it. It's the last but one line of the poem.)

Nice... l really like the format of sonnets, and this also had nice imagery.
A typo: I think in the 2nd to last line, you meant to say, " Why can I not fly with HER up in the air?" not "Why can I not fly with up in the air?"

As for a title, since the poem is about how you envy the bird's freedom, I'd call it something along the lines of "To Fly With the Falcon."

Nice work on this, and welcome to YWS!!

You might change "Why can I not fly with up in the air" to "Why can I not fly with her in the air..." Or something like that, just so it keeps sonnet-form.

It's a very pretty poem. I look forward to reading more of your work!

This is a wonderful sonnet. The rhyming is perfect, because it does not sound forced, and the words flow very easily, as if it was meant to be read aloud. The only minor change I could suggest is working on this line:

Beauty undiminished and heart so pure.

It has a rocky flow and thus doesn't do justice to the rest of the poem. Overall, this piece is great, and I agree with David Guinness, I can't wait to read more of your work!

It's good. I've only done one sonnet myself-I'm not ecstatic about them, especially the rules you must follow.... That being said, the only thing that would technically need fixing, would be the fact that about half of the stanzas in the poem are only 9 syllables long, the appropriate number for a sonnet being 10. However, I've seen plenty of sonnets that are 1 syllable under like yours, so it's fine!

Yes, it's lacking a few syllables here and there, but as Bjorn said, it's fine. Even Shakespeare often had sonnets with either 9 or 11 syllables on a line.

Bjorn wrote:It's good. I've only done one sonnet myself-I'm not ecstatic about them, especially the rules you must follow.... That being said, the only thing that would technically need fixing, would be the fact that about half of the stanzas in the poem are only 9 syllables long, the appropriate number for a sonnet being 10. However, I've seen plenty of sonnets that are 1 syllable under like yours, so it's fine!

The thing is, on those lines with 9 syllables, making them with 10 didn't sounds right.