She lies in her eyes

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*
Is it true what you've said about love?

**
Trace your fingers across the line of her jaw,
up her hairline and touch her quivering lips
As her breath tries to run away but she catches it
For to breathe would shatter the illusion
that you are never going to leave;
That you are never going to break apart

***
You would lie across her
while your hearts would quiver
as a butterfly caught in a net,
Or the strings of an instrument
Until they find their melody
and play in tune

****
Together your hearts would beat a thousand years
And your lives would run off as one--
blending into just one amazing feeling
And that would be enough

*****
You look deep into her eyes,
knowing that underneath this willowy frame
there she lies in the depths of her eyes
and you look upon her;
You must delve deep to reach her
and must hold on tight,
because nothing lasts forever
and you are never content

******
Touch together your fingertips
and let the sparks of your love making
set you aflame
An inferno that burns all that it is given--
yet always desires more
Until it has consumed itself in its passion


And later on you would say:

“I guess I thought that if someone else could love me, I could learn to love myself back”
Last edited by Cameron on Fri Dec 08, 2006 7:30 pm, edited 7 times in total.




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Gender Female
Points 890
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Lovely, lovely poetry! There are some seriously deep emotions here, I think (even though I hate romance of every kind... LOL). Anyway, it just goes to show that not all good poetry has a rhythm. I definitely like it. :D
Eat, sleep, write... and when you think you've written enough, then write some more.




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 688
Is it true what they say about love?

This is vague. A lot of things are said about love.

Refuses to breathe

An awkward short line that I think you could put somewhere else.

And you would lie across her
And your hearts would quiver as a butterfly caught in a net

Too many "and"s starting off lines.

Touch together your fingertips and let the sparks of your love making set you aflame

Cliched.

Wonderful ending. :)
Carpe Diem.



No great thing is created suddenly. There must be time. Give your best and always be kind.
— Epictetus