It was a cold September morning when Joy unlocked the door to a deli she and her sister Linda worked in. They walked inside and were greeted by the familiar smell of dusty tables. Joy was not in a particular good mood this morning though. She had been riding to work everyday in Linda’s minivan. This was an inconvenience for her.
Joy then locked the door behind them once they got in. It was not time for business hours yet; they still had to prepare for the day. Linda went back to the kitchen to start slicing the meats, and Joy went over to the ice machine to so she could begin filling the soda fountain. The morning went normally, just as it always did. Except for one thing. Linda noticed that Joy hadn’t said a word since they had arrived. Usually she was chatting up the place with details about her previous day or of what she planned to do today.
After Joy had finished filling the soda fountain with ice she went back to the kitchen to help Linda with the slicing.
“Linda, I’ll take over the slicing for now,” she said, walking over to where her sister was standing. Linda kept slicing and refused.
“No, I’m fine, just go over to the fridge and make sure we have enough of everything,” she said. But Joy was persistent.
“Just let me finish the slicing, we have enough supplies, I already checked,” said Joy, pulling Linda away from the slicing machine. “Besides, it’s the least I can do for riding with you for the past week.” Linda stared at her sister with slight annoyance.
“Joy, you don’t have to do anything to repay me!” replied Linda, turning off the slicing machine. “Is that why you’ve been quiet all this morning? Are you feeling guilty that you’ve had to ride with me?” Joy turned away from Linda and switched the machine back on.
“No, of course not,” she said, taking out the cut meat and putting it into a container.
“Then what is it, then? Is this about your car?”
Joy didn’t answer. She just took out some clear wrap and covered the container full of meat with it. Linda frowned.
“Joy,” she began, this time softer, “Just talk to me. I’m your sister. I only want to know what’s bothering you.” Joy walked over to the front of the store and unlocked the door. Linda followed her.
“Joy, please just talk to me,” she said, watching Joy turn the “closed” sign over to read “open”. Then she walked back to the kitchen.
“Joy!” said Linda, following her once more. Joy had been acting like this ever since her car had broken down last week. But Linda couldn’t imagine her sister would act this way just because of a car. She knew there had to be something more.
Linda found Joy washing the dishes once she had reached the kitchen. She was fed up. Grasping Joy’s arm, she turned her around and shut off the water.
"Linda, please just leave me alone!” said Joy, her face turning a shade of red, “I’m fine.” Linda stared into her sister’s eyes with a soft but determined look.
“There’s something wrong with you, Joy,” she said, loosening her grip on her sister’s arm, “So please, tell me what it is.” Joy stared back into her sister’s unwavering gaze, with bleach blonde hair strewn across her face. Joy’s wall of defiance seemed to melt away as though her sister’s gaze was a source of heat.
“I guess…I’m just stressed out,” Joy sighed. Linda was still confused.
“Stressed out about what, Joy? Your car?” she said, knowing her sister. Joy shook her head.
“It’s not just about my car, Linda,” she said, “It’s about…everything.”
“What do you mean?” Joy sighed and walked past her sister.
“I mean everything. I’ve gotten my car fixed like five times already and it still breaks down,” she said, leaning on the fridge. Linda shook her head.
“Joy, it’s okay, it’s just a car,” she said, laying a hand on Joy’s shoulder.
“But that’s not it!” said Joy, looking at her sister, “I mean, look at the deli! You know it’s not nearly making as much money as it should! I come here everyday with you and work hard but I’m still barely able to pay my bills, let alone afford to get my car fixed every time it decide to die on me!” Linda’s expression changed. It went from an expression of confusion to one of understanding. She now knew exactly what this was about.
“Joy, listen to me,” said Linda, her tone firm, “everyone goes through tough times. Just because life seems like it’s coming down on you sometimes doesn’t mean you start acting this way.” Joy didn’t seem to agree.
“Look, Linda,” she said, rubbing her forehead, “why don’t we just drop it. I don’t feel like discussing it anymore.”
“Well we’re discussing it, whether you like it or not,” replied Linda. “When John and I first got married there was a time when I couldn’t afford to have an extra ten dollars in my pocket!” she said, watching Joy pull out and light a cigarette.
“But look at us now,” continued Linda, “We have four kids and live a comfortable life where we can afford to support our family. We would have never got here if we had felt like giving up all those years ago!” Just when Linda was about say more their conversation was interrupted as the front door creaked open. Their first customer of the day. Joy squashed her cigarette as they went up to the front counter. They had to continue this chat another time.
The customer was a tall, dark skinned man with a think mustache. He walked up to the counter and greeted the sisters.
“Good morning,” he said, smiling at them. Joy and Linda noticed the man had a foreign accent.
“Good morning sir,” said Joy, turning on the register and trying to fake some hospitality, “What would you like to have?” The man stared thoughtfully at the menu hanged up on the wall behind Linda, and seemed unable to decide. Linda decided to start up some conversation so the man wouldn’t feel awkward.
“So,” she began, smiling at the man. “Where are you from? We noticed you had an accent.” The man smiled back.
“I’m from Lebanon. I just moved here a few months ago,” he replied, trying to choose a menu item.
“Do you have a wife?” asked Joy, joining in the conversation. Later she wished she hadn’t asked. The man suddenly looked down at the floor. He seemed a little uncomfortable and took a few moments before speaking again.
“My wife died recently,” he began, still staring at the floor. “It was two months ago, during childbirth.” Both Linda and Joy were saddened by this piece of information.
“I’m so sorry,” said Linda. “Was the baby okay?” The man gave a weak smile.
“Yes, the baby was fine. It was a boy. Now he and I live with my mother. I’m trying to find a job so I can afford an apartment of my own,” the man said.
Joy stared at the man as if she was in a trance. Moving to a new country was hard enough without having to abruptly lose someone you love and not even having a home to go to.
“Umm, Sorry, we didn’t get your name,” she said, snapping out of it.
“It’s Fares,” he said, “and I think I’ll have the pastrami.”
Joy was surprised later that day when Linda didn’t bring up the same conversation they’d been having on their way back to Joy’s apartment. In the deli it had sounded like she had so much more to say but now…nothing. As Joy climbed out of her sister’s white minivan, she only got a small wave and a goodbye from Linda.
Then Joy watched her drive off into the chilly afternoon air to pick up her children from school. Time seemed to slow down as Joy made her way up the stairs to her apartment building. The words of the Lebanese man they had met earlier kept replaying in her head like a broken record.
As soon as she entered her apartment Joy dropped her purse on the table and allowed herself to settle into her couch. Outside she could see her black mustang, sitting useless in her parking space.
It didn’t seem to matter as much as it did just a few hours earlier. Strange, Joy thought, as she wondered why anything mattered in this world. Joy could not imagine losing a loved one like that so suddenly, but when she had given Fares his sandwich he went and sat down, eating like he had not a care in the world. Maybe that was it. Maybe nothing mattered to Fares anymore. That’s why he seemed so at peace with the world. He just let go.
Maybe Joy needed to do the same.
:D:D Okay, lemme take a look at this.
