Material Limbo

Material

There are scavenger birds
in my head -
scorn hovering above the water
and white skies
I cannot circumvent the obvious -
the obvious,
that bastion which eludes me

am I coming or going
am I the island, the sea?
Forever stripped of heaven
hell bent and in-between

The birds are
soaring above my waters
I hear them even now
looking for survivors
hungry for the dead

tugging
pulling
unraveling
yet they have not found me
--

humbled,
-m.

Spoiler

explanation: this is a poor attempt at an explanation for my hiatus from tyws. I've got the worlds worst case of writer's block and the world's best reason for one - only a month and a half till I welcome my baby boy to the world. But my brain is strait-up baby food yall!
So as a semi-crutch for the poem, I just hope to even just one or two it does communicate the loneliness and white noise of the creative lull

M. aka A FAT BEACHED WHALE
and to you know who: sorry this is as much energy as I have to be "active right now" =(

This was so fun to read! I loved your vocab, rhythm and rhyme. The topic was great, too. However, your stanzas could have been positioned more clearly, or combined or something. Otherwise, I loved it! keep up the good work

All I can say is welcome to YWS.

I'll be back to review this properly.

For someone with writer's block, this poem really wasn't all that horrible. It did not contain any grammatical flaws, and there's nothing I can see that could be changed with a simple twisting of words. The ending was a little awkward and the poem has room for improvement, but it goes without saying that this is in no way a mediocre piece of literature. Keep writing

"Fat Beached Whale" haha
It was actually super good for someone with apparent Writer's Block!
Congratulations on your future son

Your poem was simple, but in a really picturesque way. I loved the soft touches and the one word lines.

"tugging
pulling
unraveling
yet they have not found me"

Those lines are my favourite. So easy to understand haha.

Well done!

NightWriter x