Puppets

Spoiler

i was trying to tell the readers about a man that live like puppets, abandon their own will to do what others told them to/ to please other. They succeed in path of life which they don't like, I don't know if such person existed. Uh, and feel free to view my friend's blog,http://rysaaann.blogspot.com/p/1.html

I found a puppet;
made of wood, garnished.
It keeps smiling;
Even on its hard back,
Pierced a dagger, so deep.

I bought a puppet;
Soft and well decorated.
It won’t make a move,
If I am not there;
to wore it to my hands.

I met a person;
So charming, beautiful as,
the summer in the winter.
Walked the way only to caught;
Attention, adoration.

Alas!
The person is lifeless;
So much alike the puppets.
Live his life under others;
Behind, he left his dreams.

I thought that the comparison between a man and a puppet was very original and neat! I loved the wording used to describe the smaller details! The only two mistakes I found are the verb tenses... maybe catch instead of caught and wear instead of wore? But otherwise, this is a great piece!

Keep writing!

~Chezka

The first line of each stanza were very good. The repetition added to the poem. I love your comparison between man and puppet. I think it does say quite a lot. The way you describe the puppet is as if it is coming to life. Then you transfer to talking about man. Very good! I would just watch your capitalization. Each line of a stanza should be capitalized. All in all, great poem!

I agree with the other comments that it was a really imaginative way how you compared a man to a puppet. I have never read anything like this before and I really really really liked it! It had sone amazing imagery in it. I could imaging everything so clearly, and basically, I thought that this poem was genius. I especially love these particular lines in the poem-

Live his life under others; Behind, he left his dreams.

I just thought that this was the most perfect comparison between a puppet and a man. It speaks to me as how a man is being controlled under others like a puppet, and along the way, he forgot and turned behind his dreams. This truly was a fabulous poem. It was something new I've read, and I'm glad I dis. I look forward to reading more of your work!