What if We Just Exist

It's like, I've had this epiphany --
Everything is clear.
About the dead, the empty, the spent.
About our greatest fear.
We walk through this world,
Facing struggles every next day.
But for what? For who?
Just to "Live life the proper way"?

Well, here's what I figure,
About us - the going, and them - the gone.
I figure we just exist.
And these opinions of what's right and what's wrong?
They are words spoke in an attempt,
To give others a reason to cope.
So that when they think of their lost loved ones.
They can smile, and they can hope.

Why can it not be,
That we just are what we are?
And that we let each life,
Burn as brightly as every star?
Living in the present, and not in the past.
For a day where you do not stand proud and tall -
A day where you do not smile, or a day when you feel small -
Is a day not worth living at all.

AngusMacdonald wrote:It's like, I've had this epiphany --
Everything is clear.
About the dead, the empty, the spent.
About our greatest fear.
We walk through this world,
Facing struggles every next day.
But for what? For who?
Just to "Live life the proper way"?

Well, here's what I figure,
About us - the going, and them - the gone.
I figure we just exist.
And these opinions of what's right and what's wrong?
They are words spoke in an attempt,
To give others a reason to cope.
So that when they think of their lost loved ones.
They can smile, and they can hope.

Why can it not be,
That we just are what we are?
And that we let each life,
Burn as brightly as every star?
Living in the present, and not in the past.
For a day where you do not stand proud and tall -
A day where you do not smile, or a day when you feel small -
Is a day not worth living at all.

The underlined bits are my favorite. I think this poem was very nice. Although I don't agree with it, it explains its points nicely. It also has a lot of depth. I enjoyed reading it. Good job!

So, this one caught my attention because of the title. I once knew someone who only though we lived in order to sustain life. In some aspects I agree, in others I disagree.

Your writing style is easy to understand and your word choice in some places went really well with the flow. There were a few parts where the rhythm was a bit shaky, but nothing too major. I really liked your last stanza, you left that image in our heads. Your last sentence really hit home for me, made me think about a lot of the things I've done within the past few months. I think this poem is going to have a lot of people connect with it.

Good luck =]