Incandescent

I can hear you
scratching away at the back of my skull
where the protective membranes vibrate
burrowing tunnels through the grey matter
weakening the structure of my ego
setting bear traps in the corridors of my mind
creating false echoes for lonely ears
you are my one and only
inward self reflecting self reflection
I'm searching for your pulse in my veins
and filling my head with your thoughts
all while trying to remember your face

A Nicely written piece of work.Liked it.

Though I would have preffered some puntuation marks in the lines.The whole poem can't be a run on line poem.

Keep writing.







-Sayani

I like it.

The "protective membranes" part sounded very SciFi. Thought it was cool.

"Inward self reflecting self reflection" sounded nice. Very clever.

Good work. Although I do agree with ANI about the punctuation. Personally, I would like some capitalization as well.

Once again: good work.

Sorry to be redundant but I definitely agree about the punctuation, especially since this has kind of a repetitive structure in the first half. (Not that that's bad, but punctuation would make it a lot easier to read.)

Other than that I loved this. You have wonderful images, and
inward self reflecting self reflection is a beautiful line. The whole poem is just really original and sharp... slightly unsettling...yet beautiful.... I can't really explain it. But anyway, lovely work.

Hm. It seems we have somebody new on the block, and with a style all too similar to mine. =] I'm complimented. Fresh challenge.

Punctuation suggestions:

I can hear you,
scratching away at the back of my skull
where the protective membranes vibrate,
burrowing tunnels through the grey matter ,
weakening the structure of my ego (and)
setting bear traps in the corridors of my mind .
(C)creating false echoes for lonely ears ;
you are my one and only
inward self-reflecting self reflection .
I'm searching for your pulse in my veins
and filling my head with your thoughts ,
all while trying to remember your face