Crashing Waves

6 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 302
Reviews 93
Glowing fire, hear it roar.
Arching glass, hitting shore.
Reflecting all your troubled pasts,
Take it in, while it lasts.
Never staying for too long.
Nothing here is ever wrong.
Then it curls, and then it’s gone,
To come again in early dawn
Last edited by Nightlyowl on Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:11 am, edited 1 time in total.
~Nightlyowl




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 954
Reviews 10
You described the images of nature, while inserting emotions and thoughts between the lines. Overall it's pretty good.
http://silentoddity.blogspot.com

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition- something I saw on a classmate's T-shirt.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 982
Reviews 15
Wow, this was quite impressive. Even though it was short, I had to read it a couple times to get it in my head. It was very beautiful and had a nice flow to it. The imagery was also great too. Keep up the awesome work!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 816
Reviews 65
Waves are pretty much my favourite thing to write about, so I really like this.

Arching glass hitting shore


Genius.

One thing though. This needs punctuation, desperately. It just doesn't flow well the way that it is, and without punctuation it's just one long sentence. The end of the line doesn't equal a full stop. That said, it does have a rhythm that I like. Each sentence is so short, but with the rhyming it actually works.

It's good imagery and a nice sentiment, with 'Nothing here is ever wrong'. I really like that.

Good writing!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1622
Reviews 25
Hey there-
Oh man. I'm not sure where to begin. I thought this was pure genious. So original. There is so much life.
It flows. It is obvious what you are writing about, since you put in plainly in the title, but over the original picture that the audience has of a wave, you paint more detail and emotion.
I loved it.
Awesome.
Keep it up!!
-IamHathor22
All I that know is that I know nothing
-Socrates


Want Hathor's review? Write a note on my wall. Simple as that.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0



You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
— Joyce Meyer