Indefinite Blue

Unbroken sorrow
swan-scattered in a dice-throw—
you outlive yourself.

Okay, I do not mean to sound rude, or want to sound ignorant, but what exactly is this poem supposed to mean? I've read it five times, and have tried to decipher it, but it makes no sense. There is no story here, no hint as to what it means, or anything. For some reason it makes me think of a bird flying, while someone gambling...So please explain this.



Thank You,
dante93

Unbroken sorrow
swan-scattered in a dice-throw—
you outlive yourself.

Unfortunately, I have to agree with dante93. There's hardly anything here. I know haiku are really short, but I don't understand the meaning of this, either. It's like it's three separate lines that don't have any common point. They aren't connected. Granted, the lines by themselves are good starts, so if you clarified and expanded some things, I think that this could be very good. Maybe you could do several haiku to help explain this? I don't know. Play around with it some. You've got something going, you just have to broaden it, and help the reader to understand it. Keep going and keep writing!

Just got through getting some answers actually, and figured out a meaning in and of itself by re-reading it when I wasn't doing a thousand things. But, he said to me in a pm:

The idea is casting off sorrows and the emotions of post-sadness.

Which does make sense now. I was not as focused as i should have been, but yes there is a clarity problem, and we've discussed it. Hope we helped.

I personally liked this, actually. It's very difficult to write a poem that's this short, even if it's a haiku. With the bit of your explanation of this poem that the previous comment contained, I can see the meaning. I definitely got sadness out of this before reading that, and after reading it I can see how it also talks about casting off sorrow - though again, in the shortest way possible. I recently revised one of my poems - it was originally a page long, and I didn't like the entire middle section, so I cut it down to just the first and last two lines. Now it's a four-line poem, but I think it still gets the story across. And I think that's more or less what you've done here - although this poem is only three lines, you really get across all you need to. I like the metaphor of the dice roll - like the narrator has to take a chance in throwing off the sorrow, or like the narrator's ability to throw off sorrow depends on a chance. Not everyone's going to like such a short poem, and not everyone's going to like a poem they can't understand, but I personally have no problem with this.

~Blue