Dear Angel, my Celestial Mage

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Dear angel, my celestial mage.
Whose wings flare to cuddle a thousand galaxies
and my heart a million times.

...once more?

I ache to see your eyes, suffused in reflected sun,
to hear your entrancing voice as you sing with me
through tear-filled hours and past –

Are you scared of the dark? Do you need me to come?

Sweet sugar, scattered about the denim night,
you seem to taste it as you fly -
I see your radiance chasing dusk, and yet, by dawn you are lost to me.

...come back?

Raise your hands, my seraphic love
and each of your fingertips will become
a moonstone pinprick of star-blessed light!
With those astral hands, will you
hold me, my heartling? ...in your wintry breath,
as you swing, ascending along an asteroid path?
and...

...can I follow?
Last edited by Daisuki on Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:57 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.




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Hello, I guess I'm your reviwer. Lol(: This is an amazing poem and I really don't think you need to change anything. I like this poem the way it is. It gets the point across. It seems as though this is about heartbreak and forgiving and forgetting and moving on from something that's held you back. BUt I wouldn't know considering I'm not the author of it. It was a very beautiful poem and I hope you realize this. Great job and keep up the good work!(:
I Know I Can Wish Upon A Star But My Past Is My Past, And That Includes Last Night And Yesterday.




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Woooow....this is so incredibly beautiful. Such an amazingly written poem! The only comment I would make would be on the very last few lines.
as you swing, ascending along an asteroid path?
and...

...can I follow?

I don't think you would need to put the "and" in there, and from my perspective, it twists the flow up a little bit.
But this is just such an incredibly well written poem! Please keep writing! :)
"The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean." -Robert Louis Stevenson
"Write or die trying."
JA hatar pisanje.




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I actually really liked this poem, which is unusual because most poems have such a whinny tone. The language in this poem was good. The execution was superb, and the overall structure gave this poem even more depth. Overall, great job.
-Dante93



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