A quick review for a quick poem! I found this interesting, and quite creative. It flowed well and I definately felt the feeling of being absorbed by a dream. And even better, it wasn't made up of a load of simple words like some Haikus are.
Haikus are, for the most part, relatively easy (providing you can find somewhere to start), so next time you could try a Tanka (5-7-5-7-7) or even better: a Choka (5-7-5-7-5-7-5-7-7). And yes I've checked, those patterns are correct XD. But overall I enjoyed this, short but sweet!
Happy Writings! DNX :J
Laments of passion Obstructed by fear. Under guises of jovial chatter; Incredulous hopes Steadily feasting away- Eating away at my heart.
Hey there! I have to say, I love this haiku. In this day and age, when people write in this form, in tends to get overly simplistic and/or absolutely nonsensical, which is okay for awhile, but gets tiring. Yours, however, was rather deep for only seventeen syllables! The concept that nightmares or fears dog us in reality is quite interesting, and you approach it quite well, with flowing language that is simple and supple. Not only does it make one think, but it makes one think over only three lines of poetry, which is quite an accomplishment! Great haiku!
~Reddy
And remember...A portkey can be any sort of harmless object...A football...or a dolphin. ~Snape, AVPM
"You are the egg, you are the chrysalis, you are the progeny. You are the rot that falls from stars." ~Will Henry, on Typhoeus magnificum
This haiku is very enjoyable to read. Personally I love a haiku that can convey a powerful emotion or meaning despite its limmited words. Not every haiku can do that but after reading this piece I really felt the emotion of the writer. Thank you for this poem. No complaints from me. I'd love to read more of your haikus.
