The Legends of Terrianne; Prologue

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1014
Reviews 22
Prologue

It was dark times in the faraway lands of Zurrak. The sun grew weaker day by day and many stars from the night sky blinked out for the last time. Food was scarce and water even more so. Only ten known fresh water lakes were to be known of over the four islands of Zurrak; Terra Motha, Freezon, Feradai and Giamanthier. Five of those lakes were terribly small and would dry out in less than a decade.

Plants and trees battled for their lives day after day. There was no such thing as a rainforest, or any kind of forest which housed large vegetation. There were forests, but these were not spoken of. They were full of evil and suffering; death. Nothing but the ugly and mad lived in such places.

There were many villages strewn around the four islands, though no more than fifteen existed. There was no need for more; everything was dying. The land, the animals, the plants and humans were all fading. The sky was in its final years. Nothing would live after the sky fell.

One city lived among the villages; a city known as Wasse. The city was home to half of the human race, including the cruel man who called himself King, though he was nothing of the kind. He found joy in raising taxes and whipping the poorest of the poor in the streets. He was blind to the fact that the world was coming to an end.

There were many who were not so blind, though they could do nothing to stop the end coming, because it was coming, ready or not.

Strange creatures that never used to exist stalked the earth, scaring off and killing the animals from before.
People were born deformed and grotesque. The king ordered those born different to be burned or imprisoned in his own jail cells. Mothers tried frantically to hide their helpless babies, but the kings men always found them. Who ever tried to interfere was punished severely.

There were stories of the old times, when the sun shone brightly in the sky and plants grew in masses so thick that if you ventured in too deep there would be no way to escape. It was said that in these times there were men and women who could stop storms and turn salt water into fresh water. These people were each known as a ‘Sage’. Each had their own unique powers and it was said they could gain immortality by completing a series of tasks. There were four known Sages who completed these tasks and they were Wembertost, Jivas, Thella and Jooneth. But they disappeared some hundred years ago and then everything changed. Things began to die.

People stopped praying years ago. They stopped believing, stopped laughing, and stopped smiling real smiles. People were already dead, not physically, but emotionally. No one held hope, no one; until Terrianne came along.

Born “pure” and strong into a family so poor they could hardly afford tonight’s dinner let alone pay taxes. She was born in a time where common people were not important enough to have a second name. Her brother, Marsh, was three years old when she was born.

She was naturally tanned like many people and her chocolate brown hair was cropped short to match men’s hairstyles, like what every female and male had. Long hair was just a hassle and had become nonexistent decades ago. She had a small face with a small garden of freckles on each cheek. Her eyes were dark, almost black.

She was fifteen years old when the king began to grow bored and irritated. He was so bored that he began his own war. He ordered for men to join forces and fight each other. Any men in the age group under forty years old and over fifteen were forced to fight. All for the king’s pleasure.

Terrianne was fifteen years old and her life was about to change forever.
Last edited by samii27 on Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
Samantha




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 201
Reviews 19
Hi there! Here's to review...

It was dark times in the faraway lands of Zurrak. The sun grew weaker day by day and many stars from the night sky blinked out for the last time. Food was scarce and water even more so. Only ten known fresh water lakes were to be known of over the four islands of Zurrak. Lakes Stazz and Mooje` belonged to the smallest island of Zurrak; Terra Motha Island. The twin islands, Freezon and Feradai, homed three lakes each; Yse, Serath and Rebor from Freezon and Bossot, Hanns and Pyllop from Feradai. That left lakes Boyden and Girther on the largest of the Islands; Giamanthier.


It was good for your to create all of these names... But it would be better if you tell them seperately. I found it difficult to understand and memorize the names if you mention them all at one time. :)

People stopped praying years ago. They stopped believing, stopped laughing, and stopped smiling real smiles. People were already dead, not physically, but emotionally. No one held hope, no one; until Terrianne came along
.

You use repitition which was good and the way you introduce the character was also good. :)

That's all from me... Keep it up :P
If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk then crawl. No matter how hard it is, just keep moving forward.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 988
Reviews 19
Wow rather interesting. I love the way that you introduced the whole concept of this dying world. The way you narrowed down you descriptions from broadness(the world in general) to the specific(the city and characters) was great. It caught my attention immediately. I agree with the post above me though, the amount of made up names condensed in a single paragraph does not help with comprehending this. I'd just try to spread them out a bit. Again I liked that repetition, and it was used well. I'm left wanting to read more.



flamin hot cool ranch doritos say a lot about the duality of man
— dissonance