The flood of tears

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 846
Reviews 42
I learned your story,
I know how it goes,
You move to a new state,
A new city,
A new life,
You find a girl,
You think she looks pretty,
Then you tell her anything,
Tell her what she wants to hear.
Then,
She goes out with you,
And she'll think she has it all.
But, I've learned your story.
I know how it goes.
You'll lie,
You'll pout,
You'll do whatever you want,
You give the girl hope,
But then you tell her you've had better.
I've learned your story,
I know how it goes.
I used to be that girl.
I thought I had it all,
I didn't,
I was just like all those other girls,
I wasn't all that different,
Except for the fact,
That I acted,
Just,
Like,
You,
I told the jokes you told,
I walked the way you did,
I was you,
And you were me,
But, we had only just met.
I've learned your story.
I know how it goes.
You say you were named after a great man,
Who was told by God,
To save every man,
From the flood.
But, you have saved no one.
God has warned you of no flood.
But, the only flood you have created,
Is the flood of tears.
My tears.
I have learned your story.
I know how it goes.
You shall move on,
A new state,
A new city,
A new life,
And soon,
A new flood.
There once was a women named Kent,
Whose nose was rather quite bent.
One day I suppose,
She followed her nose,
And nobody knows where she went.
-Unknown




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 652
Reviews 178
That was completely mind blowing! I really liked the climatic ending! There weren't any rhythm issues or grammar issues that I noticed. I think this is free verse, and that's the type of poetry I like, because it gives you a lot of freedom to express yourself. Great job!
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Don't panic!

Also, Shino!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1014
Reviews 22
At the start of your poem I was thinking "This is just going to be one of those predicatable and obvious poems" but by the end I had changed my mind. It's not one of my favourite poems I have ever read, though it did stir something in me. I found some of it a bit bland and boring. Overall I think you have a hidden talent, you just need to prove that to us readers by writing something mind blowing, not something ordinary. You have a talent and I would like to see more of this talent coming out in furture work of yours.
Samantha



Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
— Dr. Seuss