I love this poem. The meaning of it is almost dark but not quite. It's like you're teetering on the edge of staying here in the world and leaving, and I can't decide which you're going to choose. There is an element of uncertainty but calmness about this poem that is unsettling and beautiful at the same time. I almost want to describe this poem as being 'sweet', but at the same time I know that it isn't sweet because of it's meaning. You've managed to make me totally confused in a great way. Great work!
This stanza is wonderful. It makes me wonder what your character did to make somebody hate him. I'm very pleased that you left that part of the story in the dark as it gives me room to imagine what he did. It also goes along perfectly with the rest of the poem in that it's almost defined but not quite.
The second line of this stanza is the only part of this poem that I'm not in love with. The rest of the poem was captivating, and when I read that line, I was sort of disappointed.
All in all, incredible work! Always keep writing!!!
“...it's better to feel the ache inside me like demons scratching at my heart than it is to feel numb the way a dead body feels when you touch it."
Reading this, I could almost feel the sensation of slipping away regardles of your own desires. Just beautiful. My one criticism is the I don't like "physicale plane" in this context. For some reason it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the phrasing. i don't know why it's bothering me, beacuse the ideal is integral to the theme.
This was one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. I think I teared up a little during the first three stanzas - I haven't felt that connected to a piece before. It wasn't complex, it's simplicity was the doorway to the ongoing flow of feeling and I felt there was deep meaning in this emitted by your soul.
Haaaai draax!! *huggles* Here I am as promised to review your poem! I'm not going to start this review with lots of babbling like I normally do but will get right to the poem! *puts on her all-serious-face*
I want to start off with saying that this is a good poem! And I enjoyed reading it! It's a bit vague now and then and left me confused but it didn't bother me. I like it when you can fill in some things for yourself. And it makes it all mysterious! XD
I couldn't find any grammatical errors in this (WOW XD) so congratulations on that! I like the idea behind this poem too and how you wrote it down. I especially love the part about that person making a promise and keeping it even though that person laughed about it and brushed it off. (I know..that's called repetition XD) But really liked that part!
There's just one little thing I have to say:
Maybe it's just me (I have that sometimes XD) but this last sentence left me a little bit too confused.
Yup that was all I had to say! Nice work and hope this review helped a little! If not then please forgive me XD *throws white chocolate at draax to make it up* -qaralynn-
*runs to like button*
"If they can't be with you at your worst, then they don't deserve to be with you at your best." -Murtuza-
"Even though a ship won't sink at sea, it needs to be steered to get home."
Hey! I really liked this poem. It's very simple and seemingly plain. But the more you read it you start to realize that it is stating a lot of big things in a very outright way. And I love it! Aha generally this poem is perfect because I can see you're true feelings. Easily. And that's soo good. Good job!
