Crossroads

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Two paths along the beach.

One leading away
To an ocean much more clear.

Then the footsteps leading back.
"Remember when" whispers in the trees.

All is lost in the sea of indecision.

The boat has crashed along the rocks
And the footsteps have been brushed away.

The wind pushes back
As the waves pull forward.

Soon, the hurricane will come.
And the decision will not matter anymore.
Last edited by paperbackheart on Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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I really enjoyed reading this. It really made me think, and it also had a great ending.
"For whether a place is a hell or a heaven rests in yourself, and those who go with courage and an open mind may find themselves in Paradise." - Eva Ibbotson (Journey to the River Sea)




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Quite true. I think that this what everyone goes through at somepoint in their life. I love the ending by the way, because no matter which we choose we always end up getting pulled forward like it or not. I must say that this fact of life (for want of a better phrase) has been captured quite beautifully in your poem.
"The world existed to be read. And I read it." - L.S Schwartz, Ruined by Reading




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I absolutely love this poem. Your metaphor for what you are struggling with makes perfect sense, and can really be taken several different ways.
Two paths along the beach.

Your poem has a very clear beginning and a clear direction. Right from the beginning, you can tell that the speaker has a very difficult decision to make, and it makes the reader want to read on and find out what exactly those choices are.
One leading away
To an ocean much more clear.

Then the footsteps leading back.
"Remember when" whispers in the trees.

Your imagery here is great. I could picture it in my head really well. I might put a question mark after "remember when" since it is, after all, a question. I can really see those trees with a soft breeze blowing. Very nice!
All is lost in the sea of indecision.

I think this is really the turning point of the poem. At this point, the person is forced to make a decision, and you know that no matter which choice they make, there will still be regret.
The wind pushes back
As the waves pull forward.

Soon, the hurricane will come.
And the decision will not matter anymore.

In the first stanza (of the quoted portion) shows the sort of internal and external conflict the person is experiencing. They want to continue on, but at the same time the past is trying to pull them back.
In the second part, you reveal a very real truth that everyone experiences. If you linger in making a decision, it will no longer matter what you chose; it's already too late. It leaves me feeling a little sad, but it's still amazing.
The only stanza I didn't really completely understand was this:
The boat has crashed along the rocks
And the footsteps have been brushed away.

It doesn't really flow as much as the others, in my opinion. But that might just be me. I'm a little confused as to whose footsteps they are. Were they already there? It is a path, after all. Or do they belong to the person trying to make a decision?
Overall, this was really good. Keep writing!
~Devan
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And always have extra marshmallows on hand in case of emergencies.

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Wow this is lovely. I wish you would do away with the authors note, though. It's clear what this is about and if you must keep it, place it in a spoiler. As for the images you evoke, they are lovely and clear. I particularly enjoyed the waves push/windpulls image.

Soon, the hurricane will come.
And the decision will not matter anymore.


I really missed the point of this. Leave it, but I would like some sort of explanation via PM if you wouldn't mind. What is the hurricane? I hope this wasn't just a matter of poetry for poetrys sake (this last line not the poem itself.) Because I really couldn't grasp why the decision will no longer matter. It almost deflates it a little.

Anyway I don't have much more to say, thanks for a lovely read.

JP
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