For You

We were crazy,
We were young,
Our life’s main aim was to have fun,
But all that went away
When fate came knocking one day
Telling us, that our time was done.

I miss those merry moment’s
Those joys we savored
And the responsibilities we disfavored,
All the things I want back again;
Time flies and we’re here in the diverted roads
Not ready yet but about to leave our abodes.

I don’t want to leave you,
I don’t want to travel alone,
It’s you I want to take along
No matter the distance, I’ll always sing our song.

The chirping of the birds become tuneless,
The sun loses its warmth
And the flowers turn odorless
Without your presence.

I love you and that will never change
Despite my life’s derange.
I’ll never forget you,
Never till the end
Because it’s you,
Also known as my best friend…

Dedicated to my BFF: Warda.
I love and miss you very much, pal…

I really liked this. It was a little bit jumpy to read, and I couldn't quite find any rhythm, but the words you chose were brilliant. I love the subject as well, and my favourite bit was the last verse.

that was awesome! it was a little jumpy but it was exactly where it needed to be.

I truly loved this poem first of all. The emotion and the truth within it was very inspiring. My only problem with this is that some of the lines are longer than others and disrupts the flow. I couldn't exactly find a rhythm but overall this was beautiful. I couldn't find anything misspelled and I'm not that good with grammar so I'm unable to help there. But I wish you luck and hope you get many helpful reviews. With that said, I hope to read more from you soon. '
Soulkana<3

Hello there! I'd like to start by saying that I do like this poem. The message is fairly strong and clear. There are, however, a few issues I've spotted. Namely - in the second stanza, "moment's" should be "moments"; one does not pluralise with an apostrophe.

It is a very jumpy idea and scheme you used, with a few extraneous commas thrown in, but I understand that that could likely be a matter of your personal preference or rhythm. I do think, though, that the last line of the first stanza could be improved by removing the comma after "us".

Also, your rhyme sounds a little forced with some lines, when you included words that seemed out of place compared to the rest. "[S]avored... disfavored" sounds a little off, as does "roads... abodes". Also - "change... derange" sounds the most off, if I'd have to say. But I do understand that you would want to keep the rhyme (it's a dilemma I've faced as well), and it does bring some more attention to certain areas of the poem.