My Corner's Sway

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Spoiler
I wondered if my imagination could hold a visitor.


My corner is dark, dreary,
Foreign to young girl- that visitor,
She couldn't understand this,
Go away:

Magenta says deep sands,
Hands lullaby a docile rhythm,
With jounced, jarred planks,
She lands, warmly welcomed to my prism

What a prism, from long ago,
I'll be tending tides in fractured hours,
Clamping her bygone throes- till the darkness when Day sours

Darkness, blue not black, sits along her shoulders,
And she's wary as it tails her- clean,
When, but then, she's fairer than the pearls

Standing, quivering, happening to the bone,
Where it hones its blue and artificial grip,
Groping for that wearisome soul,
Groping for that crying tone

And so she ventures on,
Her body follows suit, and then the trees give way to paths,
Forked for my fortune's fortitude

My last resort before she reaches my solace:

"See road's fork?" I say,
"Continue not forward, but back.
Don't, for my sake, stay!
My paths bore not your vile track."

She holds herself, distraught but sane,
A wisp of hair told my corner's sway,
Because she moved to deign my pay,
"Come again, dearest, come again."




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Hi there!

Well, to be honest, I'm completely confused. I'm not really sure what this is about or why you wrote it. But, I guess it's supposed to be that way, right? From the spoiler I'm guessing this is about letting someone into your imagination. It really doesn't matter if I understand it or not because you wrote this for you, not for me. So I'm simply here to review it and tell you what you did good, or bad, but mostly good.

The flow of this poem is quite good. There's no place that I found where the flow faltered. There's also some great imagery in this. Actually, I think the whole thing was imagery. Anyway, I really like this, even though I'm not really sure what it's about.

Keep writing!
Noelle is the name, reviewing and writing cliffhangers is the game.

Writer of fantasy, action/adventure, and magic. Huzzah!

* * *

"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." -- Steven Wright

YWS is life




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I'm not sure I got it right... Maybe it's my english skills that are not good yet (I'm brazilian), but I found it very confusing. Maybe it was your idea though.
Anyway... It truly has an awesome imagery on it. That's what impressed me.
Sorry if I can't help you much...
Congratulations and keep writing!
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.


"This is calm, and it's doctor!" (My DR. Reid -- Best line ever)



The world is your oyster. Well, it’s my oyster, but you can have some of it.
— Feltrix