Lump in My Throat

What do you hear
With ears deafened- you’re dead
Everything you say
Doesn’t stay

My voice trips
Yet still it wavers on
While your shrill artificialities drip-
Vibrations, because that’s all they are

What do you see
With your eyes glazed- your silly worlds,
First here, then now,
Then you die,
And now your eyes are closed

But- I see so much,
Flitting before me- never ending,
Delusions that God is sending

Wow.
Can I take this and put my name on it? Just kidding. Maybe.
There was one correction I can spot. In the third stanza, second line, I think you meant to type "words". Awesome poem, stupid keyboard.

Hello there!

Overall, I like this poem. It's fairly simple but you still managed to slip in some nice little touches that made it feel unique. So, well done there.

What do you hear
With ears deafened- you’re dead
Everything you say
Doesn’t stay

This stanza is just okay to me. It's most definitely not bad, but it's not something that made a deep impression on me either.

My voice trips
Yet still it wavers on
While your shrill artificialities drip-
Vibrations, because that’s all they are

On the other hand, I adore this stanza. I love how you wrote about the artificialities only being vibrations. Sometimes that's all words are when they come from people who don't mean them: vibrations. It made me stop and think. So, awesome job with this.

Overall, really nice job. I just wish that more of the poem had been like the second stanza.

Keep writing!

your writing style is amazing, you had unique ways of filling in your sentences and making them whole. those unique styles are what makes amaing writers!!

This is a wonderful poem. short but wonderful. I see no grammar mistakes anywhere, it's all good. keep writing

Nice. I'm not very good at analysing poems but this one is well-written. This is my favourite part in the poem,

What do you hear
With ears deafened- you’re dead
Everything you say
Doesn’t stay

Great, keep on writing .