untitled

4 posts
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Gender None specified
Points 1057
Reviews 8
you always said that i would never be able to match you
that i would never be able to catch your heart
that you would always keep me at a distance
that i could never breach the fortress protecting your heart
yet i managed to break down every barrier, boundary, and defense
and steal your breath away
as i somehow to make your heart mine and mine yours
then something happened
everything went wrong
one day you woke with fear of me and this newly vunlernable state that was love
so you turned me out
and left me hanging on to a bleeding heart
as you learned to live life without love
as you closed yourself off to the world
and turned me away
leaving my heart lying somewhere beaten and broken and gone with the wind
as you left me and the world behind
as you disappeared into your fortress
closed off and gaurded from everyone who had cared
everyone who had loved
everyone who had comforted you
and then you spurned me who you had loved
for that brief season of summer
where your heart had been free
from the icy grip that is winter
before you became cold and barron
as a snow field
before you left life behind
before you ran away from me
but as i came to realise even the most beaten down heart can still sing
still speak of the emotions that betray the most gaurded of walls
still say what we ourselves could never say
still love those who scare us the most
and melt even the darkest of winters
igniting the embers of what was
turning hope into passion
and passion into love
evolving the smallest emotion
into a ocean that we can not deny
till everything spills out
in the tears of hatred, pain, pity and joy
as you realise
that the three words that you hated the most
the three words that you could never bring yourselve to say
the three words that you locked within the darkest cage of your soul
have become free of all chains
and are bursting through all your defenses
until they burst out
until you come to realise
that the one you hated the most
is the only one you can not rid your mind of
is the only one who keeps you up at night
until the only you want to see is the very person you tried to avoid the most
until you realise
that you can never run
from these three scared words
until your finally able say
i love you
to the one who captured your heart the most
so i will wait
until the day
i that your heart meets mine
and says those three words
until your deepest being screams out
i love you
i will wait
and watch over you




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Gender Female
Points 954
Reviews 10
This is very well-written, filled with the emotions a person would feel in the persona's shoes.

However, I do think it would be better if the eighth and ninth lines were omitted from the poem.

Finally- why not give this really cool poem a title? Something that would help channel this poem's emotions out for readers to feel, something that would give it enough justice.
http://silentoddity.blogspot.com

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition- something I saw on a classmate's T-shirt.




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Points 908
Reviews 46
as you closed yourself off to the world
and turned me away
leaving my heart lying somewhere beaten and broken and gone with the wind
Damn I loved this line, hmm maybe because I'm a HUGE Gone With The Wind fan! 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." anyway this was bittersweet. I mean for the person to be willing to wait for this person to say I Love You wow, and especially if they are really guarded. But that goes to show you what love really is it's patient, and if it's for real it can wait forever. I loved this great write!

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Down down down down




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Points 1057
Reviews 8
thank you everyone for the feed back it comes much appreciated and i will take all suggestions and advice to heart so thanks again



We all share half a braincell that bounces like a windows screensaver
— WeepingWisteria