Hide And Seek

I'm scared of my own eyes,
Of what they see,
A dismal expression,
Or a reflection of me.

So I cover my eyes,
I use my shaking hands,
Like hide and seek,
In the days of no plans.

I would prefer to see nothing,
Than to see my mistakes,
It's as if I'm in a nightmare,
Even though I'm wide awake.

I turn away, wounded,
I cannot bear to look,
At the things we've been missing,
Like an unwritten book.

And though we are scared,
Though we duck and we dive,
Through all things that terrify us,
We know we're alive.

I like this poem. It definitely captures the transition from child to adult nicely. One thing that brought me out a bit was the change from first person here: At the things we've been missing,

From that point on you're trying to bring me, or someone else, into it and I don't feel like going. I say keep it all first person, about you. I will gladly empathize and put myself in your shoes and make the connections on my own.

This is great! Your rhyming was good, and the message was definitely clear. Keep it up.

Hey Sakura,

I really liked this poem. Nicely written. I can tell you have some experience by it. Good job! Few issues:

I turn away, wounded,
I cannot bear bare to look,
At the things we've been missing,
Like an unwritten book.

And Get rid of the And it flows better without it.though we are scared,
Though we duckcomma and we dive,
Through all things that terrify us,
We know we're alive.

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo

I love this! Your use of rhyming was fantastic. Usually a rhyming poem sounds cheesy and dumb because of the restriction of words, but this came of really nicely.
"A dismal expression," <-- I like the word 'dismal' here
"So I cover my eyes,
I use my shaking hands,
Like hide and seek," <-- I also like this comparison
Keep up the writing! I love this poem a lot, it flows wonderfully!

I'm scared of my own eyes,
Of what they see,
A dismal expression,
Or a reflection of me.

~The things you see at times can be traumatizing! things that just want to make you cry or make you scared of, even yourself.

I would prefer to see nothing,
Than to see my mistakes,
It's as if I'm in a nightmare,
Even though I'm wide awake.

~This is so true! sometimes I wish everything that was happening would just be a dream a bad bad nightmare but finding out it's all to true is what jacks me up

And though we are scared,
Though we duck and we dive,
Through all things that terrify us,
We know we're alive.

~I was feeling negative through most of this, but here, here is where the positive comes YOU HAVE to look on the bright side if you want to make it out Alive,to know that you can make it just shows who you are as a person despite all the crap you may go through it really is you choice if you want to be a 'Survivor' or someone who didn't make it.If you can't see the bright side in life polish the dull side, I really enjoyed this poem I thought it was well written and realistic who doesn't need a slap of reality?