Help Me

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Reviews 159
Taking baby steps.

Spoiler
stick

i have sent you a postcard-

on the mississippi dust collects where the salt rushes down marshmallow browned
creeks. tears down a cheek almost, those dribbles always like anti-septic, dry swelters
like lye on barbequed fur-coats,
quick master tosses, the lab leaps, eager canines
clutching a grisly grimed stick, lubricated with spit.


this is how it feels to be eaten alive.


Spoiler
Tom and me

one day tom and me got bored looking at the screen,
so tom and me got guns and like little angel little devil
shoulder to shoulder on sofa next to table

tom: if we killed ourselves we would be less mouths to feed
me: sounds like a case for greed
tom: if we robbed a store we could live a little more
me: seems like a prophet's word

tom fidgets with gun. tom switches off safety.
tom puts in bullet. tom coughs. tom-

me: don't forget to rub it twice
tom: if we did the genie would choose to live
me: can't trap the freeman with your vice
tom: if we talk more the dead might hear
me: couldn't see the dead through trees
tom: if we knew the walls could breathe...

me watched gang of russians roulette.
me saw man twirl round tom's head.


Spoiler
Stoned in this Skin

E lascia pur grattar dov'e la rogna! - Paradiso

i.
talk about a kitten
skinned by the janitor's wife, served
hog tied, the kitty jaws so firm
you can hear cooked muscles purr,
because mouths could not be fed
on wine and bread alone.

when was something done;
as sweetly as peanut butter dries
like moldy paint chip flakes
in a cereal bowl fed to the youngest child?
because poison falls butter side down
on the cancre sore resting on your lips? watch,
the janitor cleans up this mess with his tongue
before anyone can ask.

ii.
the problem with skin and first impressions
is how easily hormones peel with oranges
and melt poems into saccharine
masturbation (and i want you to watch)

before we come to the gates
of reading the face of a peeled grape,
letting it speak in juice splattered
across your face my face and skin
hanging on teeth, to taste context-

abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Last edited by MeanMrMustard on Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:04 am, edited 2 times in total.




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Gender Female
Points 946
Reviews 53
I love it It really is nice keep up the good work




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Gender None specified
Points 1379
Reviews 12
OH MY GODS. Just 'Oh my gods'.
This is incredible.

So much is unsaid, yet there's so much meaning. They're touching, they're moving, they get into your mind and play with it in the most brutal manner imaginable. I simply adore them.

I didn't really like "Tom and me", because I think the interpunction could be better. I couldn't really grasp what's really going on. But maybe that was your point.

"Stoned in His Skin" brought me to my knees. Not literally, 'cause I have a cat sleeping on my laps and I don't want to wake him up, but it was one of the most incredible poems I've ever read.

For future: maybe try to be more realistic. Less metaphores, more interpuction, so that people can read it more easily. And keep up the good work!



Stupid risks make life worth living.
— Homer Simpson