In Memoriam

Where were you when the planes hit?
Could you see through all of the smoke and ash?
Could you hear over the screams and yells?
Could you stand through all the pain and anguish all around?
Did you call your loved ones to see if they were OK?
Or did you run into a burning building and save a life?

Where were you when the towers fell?
Could you breathe with all of the dirt and debris in the air?
Could you walk through all of the rubble?
Could you stare at all of the destruction and not flinch?
Did you turn away and pretend this wasn't happening?
Or did you kneel down and pray for help?

Where were you when the war began?
Could you cheer when so many had died?
Could you wait for ten years as it dragged on?
Could you keep silent when so much money had been spent?
Did you complain about everything being Bush's fault?
Or did you praise our men and women for defending our liberty?

Did you pray this morning for all of the soldiers overseas?
Or have you forgotten?


I feel really strongly about this and everyday I pray that we will win this war. Not pull our troops out or pack up and go home, not until we can say that those who died on 9/11 have been avenged, not until this is over. And so I pray, everyday for those overseas and the families that lost someone... because if my dad hadn't missed his flight in Boston, he would've been there too.

I like this It gave me chills. Personally, I don't remember 9-11. But it sounds horrible (duh), and I know it was painful for a lot of people (especially the ones who died).
"Could you stare at all of the destruction and not flinch?" <-- this part was my favorite. I could see everything you were describing vividly, but for some reason I could see this part more clearly (why...?)
Overall it was fAbUlOuS! Keep writing

Wow, I really enjoyed reading your poem!! It really asks a lot of meaningful questions that need answers, I feel strongly about this subject, too, even though I was very little when it happened. I really love this!!!!

I really like this. It's calm and yet it stabs. It's got an intensity without being too loud. Quite champion. I'm glad to see a poem about 9/11 on here.

Hi there Ignatius, here to review! *Salute*

Did you call your loved ones to see if they were OK?

This is a kind of weak line. 'OK' is a very emotionless word, and I feel like you could have used something better than 'call'.

Could you keep silent when so much money had been spent?

Another weak line. The topic of money doesn't really go with this poem...

So, I think this was a really great poem.

I could feel your emotion but because the poem had such a regular rhythm for so long it seemed like you didn't have as much as you intended.

Other than that I really love your last stanza, I feel that it wraps it up PERFECTLY. Good job!

Keep writing,
Just

Incredible thank you for this

I really really really liked this poem (Sorry for overusing the word really ) It flowed really nicely though at times the repetition of the word could was overused. I still think it was a very good poem, the emotion and imagery you brought up of the day when the Twin Towers fell was really good. This topic can tend to be a tad bit sensitive but I thought you wrote it beautifully, great job!
P.S- The comment at the end of the poem gave me chillls, your dad missed his plane out of Boston, scary stuff.

Personally, I find that the question marks which keep reappearing in this poem have kind of disrupted the flow. But hey, someone could do a rap with this!

Before anyThing I need To apologize for my capiTal Ts. My key is broken, and The only way I can geT a T is if I copy and pasTe one. And I accidenTaly copied a capiTal one. I could change iT, buT.... I'm lazy. I admiT iT. So, hopefully The randomly capiTal T's don'T bug you Too much.
I like iT, buT I felT like iT could use some improvemenT. I mean, There was noThing bad... buT iT could have been beTTer. Your flow was a biT rough, and maybe iT was on purpose To demonsTraTe The roughness of war. However, I sTill Think iT could have been more dramaTic. Maybe if you shorTened The lines? Or, if you could figure ouT how To make iT more personal. You said your dad could have been on a plane, so why noT add ThaT To your poem? People feel so much more if There is someThing personal. If you make a This someThing closer To The people's feelings, iT will be beTTer. This is jusT my opinion, of course, buT anyway, hopefully iT's kind of helpful.

I don't remember where I was - I was four (as you've probably figured out), and my mom didn't tell me. But my grandmother was in the Pentagon when it was hit - in fact, the plane hit one section over from her office. (She was alright, praise God.) I remember that my mom called my dad as soon as she could, because he was a pilot and he was flying commercial airplanes at the time. It's weird, though; I was happy that day -- I got to miss pre-school.

Brilliant. The best writing is when you feel strongly about it and you can convey that emotion to the reader. I felt a lot from this. At the end I actually almost cried, especially the part about you dad. Good job, no critiques.

Always, Writer.

1 word: Wonderful.

Well, this is... odd. I guess I see why no one's criticized it yet, given the subject matter. Pretty much the only feeling I got from this, though, is that it's offensive. If it were about something else, I'd go into greater depth, but I think I'll just leave it at that.

very well written and definetly pulls at the heartstings
Bush....that was a very good touch

Keep up the good work and NEVER give up.

Hey,
Thank you for asking for a review; at least that's what I thought you did. Sorry I am kind of late, but I am here now. This is such a touchy subject, so I'm not critquing on that, but I just feel like this poem is a collection of really important questions, not a poem. It has no flow; it doesn't have to rhythm, but the flow still has to be created. I would like to maybe see you write a non-fiction opinion piece rather than a poem containing this same content. If you have any questions or need another review feel free to ask.

Have a great day,
Tiffany