Ode to The Hallows

"of course it's in your head. But why on earth should that mean it's not real"
-Albus Dumbledore.


Today I stood at King's Cross station.
Between platforms nine and ten,
my palm pressed against the stone,
praying it'd let me in.

Fans are all the same.
A cult has been created,
and most have sat hoping,
their acceptance letter in belated.

The moments that stick out,
are deep within my soul,
The range for the first to the last,
and they make me whole.

Blowing up Aunt Marge,
Being attacked by a tree,
Kreacher leading elves to battle,
Dobby dying free.

Rowling kept us turning,
seven whole books long,
until at the very end,
there was only one.

I have a like Voldemort,
my soul into seven is split.
Thought they are not random objects,
on my bookcase they sit.

So I toast to The Hallows,
they were the very end.
J.K.Rowling we love you,
you are our greatest friend.

So, what do you hope to inspire from me, the reader, with this poem? Why?

Hi,

I really enjoyed the opening and this progresses nicely. I like the use of the quote before the poem. The first stanza is vivid and the emotion comes across well.

I think the second stanza was a tad bland - too much telling and not enough showing. The final line of this stanza should read: "Their acceptance letter is belated" but even so I think the rhyme here is forced. I'd cut the comma after "out" and "soul" as the line breaks create the pauses you're going for. "The range for the first to the last," doesn't make sense, so I'd take another look at this.

Stanza four works very well.

I'd look at stanza five as it sounds like the readers read seven books and then there was one left.

"I have a like Voldemort" doesn't make sense and "thought" should be "though" (you should re-read your work before posting it.) I love the link between the seven books and seven horcruxes - this is done very well.


The first two lines of the final stanza wraps this up nicely, but I found the last too lines a bit much and would go for something more subtle.

Hope this helps,

Jas

Today I stood at King's Cross station,
Between platforms nine and ten,
my palm pressed against the stone,
praying it'd let me in.

Fans are all the same.
A cult has been created,
and most have sat hoping,
their acceptance letter in belated. This doesn't quite make sense...I keep reading it trying to make it sound normal but it just doesn't quite sound right...

The moments that stick out, No comma needed
are deep within my soul,
The range for the first to the last,
and they make me whole. I really liked the first stanza, but this one just didn't have the same pondering and emotional aspect.

Blowing up Aunt Marge,
Being attacked by a tree,
Kreacher leading elves to battle,
Dobby dying free. I like this.

Rowling kept us turning,
seven whole books long,
until at the very end;
there was only one.

I have a like Voldemort, Ummm...what?
my soul into seven is split.
Thought they are not random objects;
on my bookcase they sit. I like the idea behind this stanza, I just feel like you could portray it a little better.

So I toast to The Hallows,
they were the very end.
J.K.Rowling we love you,
you are our greatest friend. Okay, now we're a little on the sappy side aren't we?

Overall though, I thought this was pretty good. I loved the Harry Potters series and the stuff that comes from fans is so cool to read sometimes. I don't think anybody will be forgetting the HP series anytime soon.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver