The Trees of My Woods

I wrote this a long time ago and just came upon it today. It's kind of cheesy, I know. But hey, I think it's pretty good since I am NOT a poet; I'm more of a story writer
--------------------<>--------------------

The trees of my woods-
Are all natural features-
And shelter the lives-
Of many living creatures.

Great-horned owl-
How are thee?
Who's wings are broader-
Than you or me.

Hello there, coyote-
Your scintillant eyes-
Reflect the moon-
When we hear your cries.

But wait, we mustn't forget thou coon-
Who's midnight prey-
Shall be caught soon.

Fisher cat, oh fisher cat-
Your fine copper coat-
Barely making noise-
Over the pine needles, you tote.

One can only imagine-
What goes on in my wood-
In the shadow of the trees-
These animals stood.

If I could only live with nature, I would.

no... the archaic words are not working. Write a contemporary poem for goodness sakes. And why is there a dash at the end of every line? Not necessary. I don't know. It shifts between trying to be archaic to casual to austere and the tone is just so inconsistent. I think that's one thing that will really help. As for sensory detail and strong nouns..... you did it. Plenty of things in this poem. I really liked all the animals. Even though the tone and rhyme are inconsistent, you succeeded in creating an atmosphere of darkness and mystery. You also don't need sing-songy refrain type lines: fisher cat oh fisher cat. No, you're wasting words. Take it out or put something else more interesting. Also I didn't like the last stanza... it felt like some sort of "tell em what you told em" approach to wrapping up the poem. And I think you might want to rethink the very last line. If you really wanted to live with nature, you would find a way. Seemed like a bit of a cop-out.

best,

I think for what you were trying to portray, you made the mood a bit too jolly. I don't like the last line, either, because it's too 'in your face' and obvious, I think you need to do a bit more show-not-tell if you know what I mean? Just a quick grammar rule- it should be 'whose', not 'who's'... but I did like some of the words you used, such as "midnight prey". They helped to reflect some of the animals' characters. I think you should work on putting more subtle hints at things in instead of blatantly stating everything. Maybe using more similes/metaphors would do the trick? But definitely keep on writing!

I see you have problems with punctuation because you mostly used hyphen rather than commas, which it's the most common use in poetry. You're only gonna use hyphen if you wanna shift tones or topics. For example:
The trees of my woods,
screaming, and cleaving--
fresh leaves cannot stay.


The trees of my woods, The first line is catchy. I can simply place myself in the rainy forest at this hour.
Are all natural features,
And shelter the lives
Of many living creatures. Honestly, I don't like the term "living creatures" because it sounds weak. not only that, I assumed this...creatures are horrid that something distracted the feeling of tranquil tone. I think I would go like this:
And shelter the lives of
mammals, hive in the woods

Great-horned owl , Nice descriptor! I like it.
How are thee? Even though the line fits here, you must get rid of archaic words. Because in our generation, this language is now obsolete.
Who's wings are broader the third and the last line are connected. You don't need a punctuation here.
Than you or me.

Hello there, coyote period
Your scintillant eyes- "scintillant sounds awkward, don't you think? you could replace it from scintillant eyes into dazzling eyes.
Reflect the moon ,
Whenever we hear your cries.

But wait, we mustn't forget thou coon-
Who's midnight prey-
Shall be caught soon. I expect much stronger words that could rhythm with "coon", and "soon" is not strong at all.

Fisher cat, oh fisher cat- to be frank, It's not good
Your fine copper coat-
Barely making noise-
Over the pine needles, you tote.

One can only imagine-
What goes on in my wood-
In the shadow of the trees-
These animals stood.

If I could only live with nature, I would.

First of all, I really like the first stanza. I can picture myself in the forest. however, you fail to describe the other things that could express a tranquil feeling to the readers. I cannot feel or picture myself in the rest of the poetry; there's a lack of imagery. Not only that, as a reader, I only sensed your only making a short story, not a poety (sorry for being harsh) You need to practice more of poetry to make it beautiful.

Thanks for all the help. I know it wasn't the best. I'll definitely take what all of you said into consideration
Also chiaro0090, I did the hyphen at the end of each line on purpose. That's how I write all my poems. I'm inspired by Emily Dickinson.

@keekers: Oh, that explains everything. Well, I can only say one thing, write on!

well keekers, that was really good compared to my poem. XD maybe you should read it sometime to make you feel good about your writing.