Bunny Fluffy

Once, there were people on YWS who decided to nickname Galerius "Fluffy Bunny". This stupid meme spread like wildfire.

Eventually, they all got weird and exotic diseases while he lived happily forever after. Then he won the lottery and seduced their girlfriends, still living happily forever after.

The end.

uhhhhhhhh. Is this a joke or like a metaphor for something? Because I don't want to go all deep on you if there's really no need for it.

OMG

THIS IS SO GOOD.

I GOT DIBS ON THE FIRST GIRLFRIEND!

I think there needs to be a bit more fleshing out. you don't have a lot of feeling in this piece, and it's all told in a sort of flat, monotonous voice. Perhaps your avatar speaks for itself in conveying your displeasure at being called "Fluffy Bunny," but really, who's going to see that when you publish your memoirs? Who will know the depths of torture to which your soul has been dragged?
As it is, this just has the potential to be the first two paragraphs of an evocative, seductive romance, but it has not yet had a chance to build tension.
I cannot believe you wasted one hundred points to submit this, Bun-Bun. If you want, I'll give you a consolation carrot and a pat on the head.

So when do we get to see the pic of fluffy bunny drinking his sorrows away with Vodka?

AD;LAJD;LAJF;LJA;LDJFJJL; I LOVE YOU

(This is not a review, because that is not a piece. )

And some people complained about awesome story getting featured...lol
Kidding. It's simple and worth a smile. Not really worth a review, honestly can't say anything else.

So...yeah, sorry about you being called bunny.

HAHAHAHA NIIIIICE!!!

A bit of a waste of space: I don't think half the people actually know what you're going on about. It's only been liked; people know you and your nickname (I don't...) so I don't really think it deserves to be in the featured: It's wasting space for a piece that could be featured that is actually good WRITING. Yes, it may be a joke, but still a waste of space. Kill me if you must, but it's stupid. Why has this been liked 30 times? I mean, come on. Wow you have a nickname and seduce girls ... frankly... who cares? Becasue I certainly don't. >.<

First off, the spelling and grammar section had nothing wrong with it.

Second, This story is beyond too short and too vague, even though it technically counts as a short story. I would strongly advise going into detail int this piece. you gave us more of a plot than a story. it is a good plot though!

Finally, good luck with this piece! If expanded, it could probably be a very good story, but I think it probably should have been under General fiction instead.

So, good luck withthis piece! I would advise turning it into something, or that was a real waste of 100 points.

Once, there were people on YWS who decided to nickname Galerius "Fluffy Bunny". This stupid meme spread like wildfire.

Eventually, they all got weird and exotic diseases while he lived happily forever after. Then he won the lottery and seduced their girlfriends, still living happily forever after.

The end.

This is a masterpiece!!! So incredible. (<- Note heavy sarcasm.)

Seriously though. Since this is probably more of a joke, I'll just say this: there are no punctuation problems.

Epilogue:

After a while of hanging out with their girlfriends, Fluffy-bunny worked out that many of them were in fact either homosexual or female. What resulted, was an understanding that many of those he had thought were girlfriends, were in fact boyfriends.

It was said in the street years later, that only one foolhardy enough to publicize a nickname he despised would think that boyfriends were in fact girlfriends.
- End of Epilogue

Hi Galerius,

Interested in writing children's fiction as a career? If so, then good: it seems to be the only path remaining for a 'writer' quite of your caliber. What little amount of material you've given here is that just-nauseating-enough stench of another's vomit that sickens all who pass by it. For the sake of each passerby, I suggest heaving this either into a trash can or your writing desk--your choice.

If you should choose the latter, then pay attention to the elementary phrasing dragging down the remaining middle school prose. Right now, you're sitting on a summer-of-fifth-grade level, which I'm sure is doing good for you; however, it's time to put on your big boy pants and decide whether or not you're ready for the heavy editing game of writing vaguely quality pieces.

Also, no need to reverse the title--this piece is quite backwards enough already.

Hope that helped,
Lumi

So, this piece isn't terrible, and if I knew the story I bet it would even be funny. But... as it is, I am wondering why in the world this is featured? I have read much better stuff on YWS (no offence) and it has had maybe 2 likes. Yet you have 31, for this? Seriously, go ahead and hate me, despise me, write my name on a target and throw darts at it if you like. But I do not think this should have ever made it to the featured works. I agree it is a waste of 100 points, I'm sure you could improve it, or just plain out write something better. But this, I must say, is not good writing. Maybe a good story (if you had given enough information for it to be called a story) but not good writing. Sorry if this sounds harsh. But seriously, why is this featured?