Summer

Happiness is summer, or so I tend to think
Sometimes, when the cicadas finally go to sleep.
Summer is hot sun, grazing my skin
and sinking its teeth, through clothes ever so thin.
Summer is the feeling, of moist earth on my back
and smiles with gleaming teeth, and after-noon naps.
Summer is being covered, with sunscreen and urban days
while getting the smell up my nose, yet still being burned to a haze.
And summer is freshly plucked cherries, in a bowl by the tree
Reading poems in the dark, until I can't really see.
Summer is the sea black at midnight and the stars shinning above;
Summer is music, and green grass, yellowing sand, and friends, and love.

Hi there!

I really loved this poem! It's a great topic to be writing about and I totally agree with everything you've written. You have great imagery and you really captured the feel of summer. It flows really well and sounds great when read aloud (I always read poems aloud. It's my thing, what can I say).

I do have one criticism though, your rhyme scheme is off. I see that you didn't rhyme the first and second lines and the fifth and sixth lines. The rest of your rhyming is great, but if you want to rhyme a piece of poetry, you have to keep it consistant. Here, let's look at the first and second lines:

Happiness is summer, or so I tend to think,
Sometimes, when the cicades finally go to sleep.

Since this is the beginning of the poem, the reader will think that this is not a rhyming poem, or that you are using a different rhyme scheme. But since that isn't true, you really need to make it clear at first what the rhyme scheme is. So, what words rhyme with 'think' that could fit into this?

I don't want to change your poem so I am not going to give you any suggestions, but I will tell you that I have found a great website called http://www.rhymezone.com. There's a little box on the top of the page where you type in a word, and then you click 'go get it!' (yes, it really says that) and it'll name you all sorts of rhyming words. I know that kind of takes the fun out of it, but it's a great help.

Summer is the feeling, of moist earth on my back
and smiles with gleaming teeth, and after-noon naps.

This is basically the same thing that I brought up above, so I'm not going to go into that all again. But I would like to say that this was my favorite part. I do enjoy laying outside in the grass and staring up into the sky. I like watching the clouds roll by. Does that sound lame?

Here's just a few corrections I have to make these three lines flow better. You don't have to use them, these are just my suggestions. The corrections are in bold, comments are in red:

And summer is freshly plucked cherries, in a bowl by the a tree we don't know what tree you're talking about, so it's better to put 'a tree' rather than 'the tree'. And it just sounds better.
Reading poems in the dark, until I can't really see. this really works with the flow. Isn't it amazing how you can take one word out and it all sounds so much better? I think it is. Or maybe it's just me?
Summer is the sea black at midnight and the stars shinning above; I honestly don't know why I added this line in the quote. Oh well, at least I can say I like the description!

Overall this is a very, very good piece and that's why I liked it. You did a great job with your imagery and structure as well as keeping the theme apparent. I hope my comments were helpful and I didn't seem harsh. PM me if you have any questions. Keep writing!

Hey there! you've just sucessfully depressed me haha its winter down here and I am freezing! Although my abstract form was warmed immensely as I was captured, within the atmosphere and joy you created.
I like the imagery and how you vividly bring to life most of summers aspects (if not all)
You're ability to arose the senses is phenomenal without a doubt and, your ability to transfer the conscience to a realm of your choosing is too. Not only was I captivated but I was comforted aswel, knowing that all that is soon to come.

Happiness is summer, or so I tend to think
Sometimes, when the cicadas finally go to sleep.
Summer is hot sun, grazing my skin
and sinking its teeth, through clothes ever so thin.
Summer is the feeling, of moist earth on my back
and smiles with gleaming teeth, and after-noon naps.
Summer is being covered, with sunscreen and urban days
while getting the smell up my nose, yet still being burned to a haze.
And summer is freshly plucked cherries, in a bowl by the tree
Reading poems in the dark, until I can't really see.
Summer is the sea black at midnight and the stars shinning above;
Summer is music, and green grass, yellowing sand, and friends, and love.

...That was my favourate part

Goodluck and keep writing

//Abyss.

So, in a few places it felt awkwardly worded, like your commas were in the wrong place or something. Anyway, I loved the idea and the descriptions and all. Good job! It makes me sad that summer is about to end, even though this has been the worst summer I've ever had. So, you should feel proud. Anyway, keep writing, you have mucho talent.

Hey there, RedHead. I'm Scarlett and I'll be reviewing your poem tonight.

Wow, Red. This is amazing and cute. I really like it. It's simple, yet carries a lot of meaning. I really miss summer. I wish it was back again, but I still have a month or two to wait. I'm honestly sick of the rain. You know, it never snows in Australia. It just rains...and rains...and rains. *sighs* Oh, well. Back to the poem. The flow is simple, but perfect is its simplicity. I like it. And the imagery? The imagery is amazing. And wonderful. And cute. I adore it. And I have no nitpicks, so it's all good on that front. ^^

Overall. This is a brilliant, sweet and very dreamy poem. And, like I said before, I adore it. *clicks like* I hope this helped, even a little. And thank you very much for the wonderful and beautifully sweet poetry. Keep writing, and don’t ever give up!

~Scar.

Nice poem I really like the concept. Sorry if this review sounds to critical or nitpicky!

Happiness is summer, or so I tend to think
Sometimes, when the cicadas finally go to sleep. Huh? This doesn't fit with the rest of the poems rhyme scheme. I would consider changing it,

Summer is (a hot sun? has a hot sun?)hot sun, grazing my skin
and sinking(sinking in it's teeth makes more sense. Sinking it's teeth doesn't really make sense) its teeth, through clothes ever so thin.

Summer is the feeling, of moist earth on my back
and smiles with gleaming teeth, and after-noon naps.The underlined bit doesn't work with the rhyme scheme. I like the first line, though

Summer is being covered (you don't need a comma there) with sunscreen and urban days
while getting the smell up my nose, yet still being burned to a haze.Don't know about this line, but I will saying "being burned to a haze" doesn't make sense. Burned to a crisp, maybe. But haze is definitely not the word.

And summer is freshly plucked cherries, in a bowl by the tree
Reading poems in the dark, until I can't really see. Hm? The rhythm is off, and it sounds garbled when you say it out loud. Try reading your poems out loud to get a feel.

Summer is the sea black at midnight and the stars shinning above;
Summer is music, and green grass, yellowing sand, and friends, and love. The last line is too long. I would suggest removing one of the elements, ie: Summer is music, green grass, happy friends and love. Something like that.

I'm sorry for being so critical! Keep on writing, you will always improve!