Worldly Desires

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The World knows no consequence,
for in all its knowledge,
it lacks common sense
and control of itself.

Population grows and
populants explode
with mouths pointed
towards an empty sky.

A mark in time,
or a blemish,
if you must,
shares fewer words
than a time of silence
and peaceful, lonely recognition.

Our minds think superior thoughts
and our hearts feel superior love,
but what of the primitive?
The animalistic? Instinctive?

We are man.
We've lost true heart and mind.
Forever lost, no regaining time.
That is, until the Earth revives.


Just a poem I wrote at camp a while back. Nearly forgot about it. Hopefully it's not too terrible.
Last edited by TheWalkinDude on Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm striving to be the Architect of the Apocalypse, Master of the Massacre, Ruler of the Rapture, and the Führer of the Fatal.

"It is the tale, not he who tells it." --Stephen King

Take THAT, society!




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I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love this partWe are man.
We've lost true heart and mind.
Forever lost, no regaining time.
That is, until the Earth revives.
I Can Rock Your World And Live My Life like A Rock star




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"Too terrible"? "Too terrible"??? Honey, this is a gorgeous poem! The imagery is beautiful and vivid, and the message is very different to a lot of the poetry you can find around here. I love it!

My favourite bit would have to be
Population grows and / populants explode \ with mouths pointed \ towards an empty sky.
It's just so vivid and descriptive and the rhyming scheme is great!

The single, solitary thing that I picked up was the capitalising of "World". I'm not sure if this was because you wanted to emphasise it, but usually only Earth is capitalised :)

Keep writing, 'cause you're definitely good at it!

xx SilverLove
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out...




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Hi there!

Okay, I seriously disagree with this being "terrible"! This is really good! The poem flows great, the stanzas are in awesome shape, the poem itself is awesome! I don't think there are any nit-picks in this poem to be pointed out, so great! Awesome job and keep it up!

- gleek456 <3
YOU'VE GOT THAT ONE THING



I love how we all band together to break things...
— Kelpies