London Riots

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Economic crash,
Dissent and unrest prevail,
Grumblings grow louder.

Tempers flaring up,
Citizens take to the streets,
Words become actions.

Hooded thugs, vandals,
Petrol bombs and football tops,
Molotov cocktail.
Last edited by roostangarar on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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i thought this was pretty good, but i was kind of confused. i knew what the thugs had to do with the riot, but other than that i was really...i don't know! i mean, it was well written, no grammar mistakes or spelling errors. i did like the part about the economic crash and tempers flaring. i like the imagery in the line "hooded thugs and vandals." i could really picture them out on the streets getting angry and holding torches LOL. keep up the good writing!




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Hi there!

I think this is really good! I think this gave the picture of a very... brutal riot. I loved this stanza:

Tempers flarings,
Citizens take to the streets,
Words become actions.


Overall, I really like it! Good job and keep it up!

- gleek456 <3
YOU'VE GOT THAT ONE THING




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Points 2634
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Hey there! First of all, I'd like to say this is very well written especially because I see that you were trying to write it as a haiku- well done for attemting that style of poetry for this subject!

I love the tone and how straight-to-the-point this poem is because with haikus you don't have many syllables to use and I think you brought the message out with such a small amount of syllables! Well done!

But (as my dad would say: there's always a 'but')
Tempers flarings,
does not have 5 syllables. You may want to touch up on that line.

Apart from that teenie little thing, you did a good job bringing out the emotion of the riots (that have now ended, thank goodness)!

Keep writing!
- Mikko.
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2634
Reviews 152
Hey there! First of all, I'd like to say this is very well written especially because I see that you were trying to write it as a haiku- well done for attemting that style of poetry for this subject!

I love the tone and how straight-to-the-point this poem is because with haikus you don't have many syllables to use and I think you brought the message out with such a small amount of syllables! Well done!

But (as my dad would say: there's always a 'but')
Tempers flarings
does not have 5 syllables. You may want to touch up on that line.

Apart from that teenie little thing, you did a good job bringing out the emotion of the riots (that have now ended, thank goodness)!

Keep writing!
- Mikko.
when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 832
Reviews 5
Enjoyed this peom, really captures the mood of what was happening in England.
Loved the line "Words become actions" Shows how so many of the protests around the world become riots.
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