Beautiful Disaster

She’s sitting on the dark and dusty floor
The bathroom stall is filled with the hate inside of her
But this doesn’t help so she lies to them
Those compliments about her body make her soar
And so these starving nights keep her awake
But this pain is her comfort food
But not enough to give her hope

Doesn’t she know she’s beautiful?
Doesn’t she know she’s loved?
Doesn’t she know it’s not worth it?
She’s drowning in her dreams
But she covers it with her smiles
Seems she’s on the edge
Of a beautiful disaster

Three months he’s been promising them to be sober
But he’s going back to the bottle every night
Nervously laughing at the gun shots meant for himself
Hangin with the dealers who call him buddy
Nights of bleeding for help taunt his soul
His parents look on and cry with realization
But can you imagine what they’re going through
What happened to their little angel?

Doesn’t he know he’s beautiful?
Doesn’t he know he’s loved?
Doesn’t he know it’s not worth it?
He’s drowning in her dreams
But he covers it with his smiles
Seems he’s on the edge
Of a beautiful disaster

It happens in a blink
And then you think you can never go back
You hear all the noises
They're starting to come flying faster
But did you know you’re beautiful
Your greater than the pain you’ve seen
Because this disaster has turned into beauty

Your chains are gone
They have been broken
You are free
So go fly free beautiful dove
Your pain was seen
And your disaster has become beautiful

Hey Urban!

She’s sitting on the dark and dusty floor
The bathroom stall is filled with the hate inside of hercomma
But this doesn’t help so she lies to themperiod and Lies to who?
Those compliments about her body make her soarcomma
And so these starving nights keep her awake
But this pain is her comfort foodcomma
But not enough to give her hopeperiod
Sounds like an eating disorder.

Doesn’t she know she’s beautiful?
Doesn’t she know she’s loved?
Doesn’t she know it’s not worth it? These are all common things that depressed or insecure people never believe. Good job!
She’s drowning in her dreamscomma
But she covers it with her smiles period
Seems she’s on the edgecomma
Of a beautiful disaster

Three months he’s been promising them to be sobercomma
But he’s lying to them allperiod
He’s going back to the bottle every night
He’s in the wrong crowd
Hangin Hanging or Hangin' with the dealers who call him buddy
His parents look on and cry
They know what’s going oncomma
But can you imagine what they’re going through
What happened to their little angel?

No comments on the stanza I left out.

It happens in a blink comma
And then you think you can never go backperiod
You hear all the noises
They're starting to come flying fastercomma
But did you know you’re beautiful?
Your greater than the pain you’ve seen
Because this disaster has turned into beauty

Your chains are gonecomma
They have been brokencomma
You are freeperiod
So go fly free beautiful dove
Your pain was seencomma
And your disaster has become beautifulperiod

You know you need punctuation! But really great job. I loved it! It was really pretty. I edited it ( put where there should be commas and stuff). Good job!

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo

P.S. Why is it 12+ ? I haven't looked at the rating thing, but it doesn't seem bad?

I LOVED this Part Right Here It happens in a blink
And then you think you can never go back
You hear all the noises
They're starting to come flying faster
But did you know you’re beautiful
Your greater than the pain you’ve seen
Because this disaster has turned into beauty

Ok, I'm not going to pick at it right now (I might come back later but like, It's 4 am and I'm lazy )
BUT I really liked this. At first I was annoyed because I thought this was another poem romanticizing serious issues, but then I read on and got to the part "Does't she know she's beautiful..." and I realized it was a little more hopeful than that.
But is the part where it does "Doesn't s/he know s/he's not worth it?" supposed to be contrasting the other lines or supposed to mean not worth their addictions? Because when I first read it I thought it meant in general, like they're not worth life... so I think that should be reworded to be more clear. But overall, this is a great start!