I want to be forever young

I want to be forever young
to smile at the world
and spread my good mood

Remove the sorrows
ignite the joy
and douse pain
#
I will be forever young
to leave waxed my footprints
with firm steps on the ground

Fighting for my people and my homeland
with all soul and relentlessly
but fighting without war
#
I want to be forever young
for walking watching at the people
and they will not forget that I exist

Be able to show my God
because I feel to him
because I saw him
#
Loaded with anxiety
I would like to give my heart
without fear of being wrong

Understanding the goodbyes
and be forever young
to fall in love again
#
I want to be forever young
to not realize the failure
if not I harvested what I deserved

Sustain myself
and that still I retain strength
for someone can lean on me
#
I want to be forever young
for get up easy of the drop
and endure the betrayal

Inventing a dream all the time
to will bring open door
to put passion
#
I want to be forever young
for that problems amuse me
find alternatives

To break new ground
and encouraging me in any weather
to undertake the journey
#
While I´m young I am sure,
will melt the torment every night
whenever that come back one day

I just wish that
and your lives will be eternal
when my own live is finished

The poem was quite interesting. I like the way you've written 'I want to be forever young' in every paragraph to emphasize it. In the very last line, 'when my own live is finished' it should be, 'when my own life is finished'. Besides that, The whole poetry was very good. I think you've conveyed your message clearly through this poetic approached. Well done and keep it up.

I want to be forever young
to smile at the world comma
and spread my good mood

Remove the sorrows comma
ignite the joy comma
and douse pain
#
I will be forever young
to leave waxed my footprints
with firm steps on the ground

Fighting for my people period My homeland
with all soul comma relentlessly comma
but fighting without war
#
I want to be forever young
for walkingcomma watching at the peoplecomma Watching AT the people? Or watching the people? Thats just weird.
and they will not forget that I exist

Be able to show my Godcomma
because I feel to himcomma
because I saw him
#
Loaded with anxietycomma
I would like to give my heart
without fear of being wrong

Understanding the goodbyes comma
and be forever young
to fall in love again
#
I want to be forever young
to not realize the failurecomma
if not I harvested what I deserved

Sustain myself comma
and that still I retain strength
for someone can lean on me
#
I want to be forever young
for get up easy of the drop comma
and endure the betrayal

Inventing a dream all the time
to will bring open door Reword this. It doesn't make sense as is.
to put passion Put passion where?
#
I want to be forever young
for that problems amuse me semicolon
find alternatives

To break new ground comma
and encouraging me in any weather
to undertake the journey
#
While I'm young I am sure,
will melt the torment every night
whenever that come back one day

I just wish that comma
and your lives will be eternal
when my own live is finished

Lots of your lines are worded weirdly, and hard to understand. You also have one comma in the entire poem. I don't get why you put # between every two stanzas. As for the poem it was okay, but needs grammar. With out it, it's read differently.

PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!

-Boo