Slow Down

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Slow down.


We hid from the world.
We talked and cried and watched as the earth grew and shrunk.
The sun set and rose while we slept.
The moon sang us our love song as we touched our hands to each others.
Grass grew into valleys of flowers, mountains melted away into flowing rivers, oceans turned to lakes, trees grew and fell.
Souls came and left; but death was just a word.
We sat and enjoyed our days with each other
Time finally let us be. And as the last sun was setting, for a brief moment everyone was happy, the world was calm.
Just as the sky was turning black we kissed one last time.
Hand in hand we sat and watched the world come to it's happy end.
A loving end.

Secondhand Serenade:
Your Call
Last edited by Wolfy on Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:34 am, edited 2 times in total.




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This isn't bad. The picture goes nicely with the poem. I don't really understand why it wasn't in stanzas and stuff. The setup made it seem a bit like a short story. Anyway, this has good emotion and sort of like, good symbolism, amd everything. I like it. Hopefully, my review helps. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known..." A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens.




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wow amzing i don't really understand the pic go's perfect with what you're were saying keep doing you're thing
I Can Rock Your World And Live My Life like A Rock star




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Hi there!

This was a really good poem. I like the structure, how you made the text centered. It's very original. Your spelling and grammer is good, so no worries there. I like the flow of this poem too. It has a very calm and soft tone, which is quite appropriate seeing as it's about a sunset, yes? The picture is very nice too. Did you take that or find it somewhere? It's nice.

Again, good job! Keep writing!
Noelle is the name, reviewing and writing cliffhangers is the game.

Writer of fantasy, action/adventure, and magic. Huzzah!

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