Mirrorself

Spoiler

I've edited it...

The mirror. A friend? Or not?
I look at myself, who else?
Myself, pale, tired.

My face a sickly color,
circles under my eyes.
I don't remember a time without them.

But when I think of time I remember.
I remember a time when I looked healthy.
Happy.

And I smile.
I smile because I know there's an end to this.
There's a promise of change in my smile.

I like this. It's quick but yet manage to say alot. It's sad, yet hopeful. It wouldn't have hurt to see some more cretaivity and imagery in this but for what it was it was okay! The flow and punctuation both did well but I think you shoul maybe shorten the third line in the second stanza or make it cover two lines instead of one.

Overall, Nice job. I give this 3/5 icksy, sticky spiders!


Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Hi
I've got to say this got me hooked. I felt as if it should have been a tad bit longer, but you still got your point out nonetheless. Another comment I had to make was that you could have put a bit more imagery, but other than that, it was pretty enjoyable.
Keep writing, I hope to hear more from you

This was very short, sad, and yet filled with hope. I don't have a real review, although in some places your lines seemed too long. Either that or they were too short in others. Anyway, good job, nothing much to say, but I like this, keep writing!

Nice poem, gave me a good sense of detached, morose, nostalgic longing/pining. Only criticism is that I think you should split up the "I don't remember..." line onto two or three lines of text. Good short read nonetheless.