Your Mind Said
Yes
My Heart
Said No
My Body Said Yes
My Arms Say Go
I Can AnyWhere In Life
If You
Take
Me
There
Deception is here,
Deception is there,
Deception is with her,
Is there a truthful place?
I sail in these seas,
A wounded sailor,
But every time never willing to give up, I find this line a bit odd, the wording sounds a bit wrong to me... also it's a bit too long. I think it would be enough only to write "But I will never give up"
In this sea storms what am I to do? This line is too, a bit wickedly worded - Either you meant seastorms as one word or otherwise I think you must write "At sea, in this storm, what am I to do?"
Ready I am to give my all, Personally I think this line would sound better as; "I am ready to give my everything"
Sacrifice even my own life for her, Here, either scratch the word "even" or put it at the beginning
But I guess she never understands,
The much love I have for her.
How am I to trust again,
Its not like trust is a choice,
It has to be earned,
I am willing, but tell me how.
- I like this stanza very much, the narrator is obviously struggling but it's hopeful! *pointing at the stanza above*
Now that I am ship wrecked again, I think this would sound better as "Now that I am a wrecked ship again,"
Will I repair the boat again?
And continue with this dreadful voyage?
All the horrors of the sea?
Do I keep my hope alive for calm waters?
Is there even such a thing like calm waters?
Is there such a place like heaven?
Sailors like me, do we ever get to rest? - I sence a little Robert Frost here at the end, I like it