Stars

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Spoiler
I often find I do my best writing (read: "only good writing", the rest is trite) late at night. I'm not saying that this is some kind of masterpiece or anything, but I think it encapsulates exactly why I prefer the night. I can be penniless after a night out. I can have had a terribly miserable day.

But if I can sit in my garden for an hour or two at night and see the vast expanses of the dark night sky, painted with strokes and specks of blazing light, everything else fades into insignificance.


Eyes up,
Neck bent.
Doesn't matter
Money's spent.

Clear sky,
Stars shine.
Moon's out,
All's fine.


_




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God, that is so catchy. I could repeat that over and over and over again. The first stanza is a bit puzzling (only clear if you read spoiler). I know you can't change it too much without ruining the whole feel and scheme, but there isn't really much to change. It's very relaxing to read. God that is so catchy... it's like a beat.
If words are just letters put together, why do we decide on what they mean?

I step away from the grammar to review the story.

I don't do poetry.




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Quick, simple and plain but still an enjoyable read. It flowed real well and I've got nothing more than one little nitpick. "Money's spent." I don't think this line fit in this poem, I more feel like you put it there to fill out the space and cause it rhymes... but I'd enjoy this piece more if you found something more fitting. :D
For what it was it was good, and I'll reward you with 3/5 icky little spiders!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness
"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice." - Robert Frost




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Hello Meighan.

I really liked this. It was cute and short and the type of thing that gets stuck in you head. A riddle or a song verse. Like a little catch phrase or something.

I like the night too, especially cloudy nights. The way the clouds move in front of the moon and the way the moon shines on the clouds is just amazing to me. Hanging out on the balcony on a cloudy night with my iPod and a bowl of nachos is bliss.

Anyway, I'm glad you posted this.

OnigiriChan
"If all our life is but a dream, fantastic posing greed, then we should feed our jewelry to the sea. For diamonds do appear to be just like broken glass to me." Northern Downpour




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Yaaay! I love when you write pretties =] Anyway, I thought this was great. Its extremely catchy, and just has that feel to it. We don't have tons of things to tear through and understand. So even the length fits exactly how you feel when you're out there in your garden =] How the rest of the troubles fade away and all thats there is clear and beautiful. Looove this so much. =]
TylynTyrannosaurus<3 (tydecker777)



find your aesthetic and flaunt it
— manilla