Cycle

Spoiler

Sorry if this isn't in the correct category, I had NO idea where to put it.

A beginning

A nervous laugh
A long walk
A pair of hands linked together
A good night kiss
A sleepless night

A phone call
A long drive
A deep conversation
A whispered "I love you"
A smile

A mistake
A hint of doubt
A harsh exchange of words
A slamming door
A cry of frustration
A tear-stained face

An unanswered call
A knock at the door
A quiet plea
A cold rejection
A silent drive home



An end

I always find that it's really hard to critique poetry because poetry is all about emotion no matter what's wrong with it. However, I really liked your poem, and dont worry about where to put because no matter what labels are put in catagories, all poems are unique, which is what poetry is about. I love how you started each line with the letter 'a' and the first line was the beginning and the last line was the end. I thought it really added to the poem itself. It was what made it unique and special. There was no one thing that was wrong with it unless the feeling it gave off was not one that you intended. To me, a reader, I felt forlorn and slightly sad. If that was what you intended, then you did a great job!!!
I really liked this!!! Keep up the great poetry!!!

I love it <3 I put my first poems in other poetry too.
My favorite part is

A beginning

A nervous laugh
A long walk
Two hands linked together
A good night kiss
A sleepless night

You can change this if you want to

A pair of hands linked together

It would make it so that every line starts with A or AN

Keep writing,
Tasha

So, I'm not very good at reviewing poetry. I'm rather useless, in fact But I thought that it sounded very interesting from the title and decided that I would take a look. I kind of liked it! It had emotions that are easy to relate to, and even though it was kind of cliche, I really enjoyed it. Keep writing!

Cheers,
Luxe

Hmm so this was both simple and sweet. I like the how it was so quick and short but managed to capture so many emotions. One thing though... you've split your text in to stanzas.. suggesting each stanza and the lines within should have something in common.. but it feels like you could mix all the lines together and put them in whicever order because they don't really belong together... Maybe I don't make any sense at all.. but that's how I feel. Otherwise. NICE JOB!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Hey,
I thought the poem was very well written and the lines were extrodinaraly good. I like how you describe the stages of a relationship from how it begins and ends. Its something some people can relate to and it shows the nature of some people. I also like the repition of the A's and thought that gave it a cool 'air' to it i guess. Also you should make another poem like this but starting from where this one left off. I think that would be a cool idea you could pull off very well. The title however I disagree with because it is not truly a cycle unless it reatarts or repeats. All in all great job.
P.S. Hope you write some more Poems soon would love to read them.