Tonight, In My Dreams

Tonight,
in my dreams,
I dug a hole
that reached to the bowels of the Earth.

As I crawled out,
hands pulled at me
holding me down,
but I reached the surface unharmed.

Then I began to
fill the hole up
with all the hate
in my heart until there was no more.

After the hate
I started with
all my hopes,
until I found no hope left inside.

The hole was
almost full,
but one more
subject demanded a place.

All my love
filled the rest,
till I detected
not a hint of the ember like warmth in my body.

Tonight,
In my dreams,
I will dig a hole
that reaches to the highest of heavens.

Spoiler

Thanks for reading! I really like this poem it mean's quite a bit, mostly because it came to me in a dream which to me seemes like the coolest thing! All reviews and comments would be much appreciated!
*Don't forget to comment, review and like

I really liked this, like, really. I don't write poetry, and I don't pretend to be an expert, but I do think you could use more commas.

The hole was
almost full
but one more
subject demanded a place.

Like here, I would place a comma after 'full'.
But I suppose you could choose to not use comma's, it may be the style you are using.
What I wanted to say, was that this was a brilliant idea. It was written quite well, I didn't really notice anything aside from the comma's. Cheers mate

i really liked this, i dont do grammer reviews i leave that to someone else, but i really liked this, its awesome, althought you could make it longer, but thats just me wanting more. ;D

Hello!

Cool! From a dream? That's awesome. My dreams are alarmingly incoherent and un-poetic. I had a dream once that my toilet bowl swallowed me. I have yet to write a poem about that. HAHA.

So first, I know that it's not part of your poem and all so you might wonder why I chose to comment on it. I think you shouldn't put the picture with the piece at all. Seeing as poetry is about using words to create an image in the reader's minds, using a picture as a sort of intro to your poem feels a little like cheating. I think you should let the imagery in the poem speak for itself.

As to format, the first reviewer was right about this needing a little more punctuation. The capitalization is a little odd too. I think your formatting just has to be a little more consistent. You capitalize some lines and don't the others with no apparent structure.

Anyway, aside from that, I actually did like this poem. I feel like it lacks description more but it does have an interesting kind of... story, I guess. There's a sequence of events in the poem that made sense to me while at the same time it had some pretty good imagery. I guess that is what I like about this poem. It has a clear beginning and an end and I think you developed it fairly well. I think the only thing you can improve on would be describing things more vividly.

--Nixie

It was good. I couldn't stop reading, it was very short and simple, which to me is a good thing. So, overall great story! keep on writing!

Hey, this is cool! I like your stuly and structure of the stanzas with three short lines with great rythm and flow that ends with a longer line that keeps most of the information.

I like how your dreams seem to be just as wicked as mine... !


But back to your poem; I couldn't find any error mistakes, you keep good punctation and I like the thought of being able to just throw of all your feelings, emotions and all the rest down in a hole. I don't see why you wouldn't just throw away the bad stuff though... why rid yourself of hope for example? And love...? I can see how love can be painful at times, but why not just take away the bad stuff?

ANyhowss.. I love, love, love the last line. How a hole.. who usually go down can go so far up it reaches the highest of skies! COOL!

I'll give you 4/5 spiders for this

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness