Writing Challenge 4/17th

Im a terrible poet but I thought I would submit:

The Alibird

The Alibird, so fine,
Its fangs, divine,
Its wings, so free,
Alibird is She?

Its talons, so sharp,
Its song, like lark,
Its eyes, full glee,
Alibird is she?

Its Prey, such bliss.
Its death, its kiss,
Its kill, from tree,
Alibird is she?

Alibird, she is,
So frightened, she is.
so morphed, she is,
Alibird, she is.

Its eyes, full glee: Huh?

Here you rhymed, and you had meter. I love rhyme and meter. I am not one to encourage free verse all the time. But you sacrificed everything else in your poem (meaning, imagery, depth) for rhyming and meter. Sometimes you sacrificed grammatical sense, as seen above. Rhyming is supposed to edify the poem. Meter, when done well, should hardly be noticed. They are supposed to help the other elements of the poem congeal more. Keep trying in this whole respect. And obvuiously, I know you took upon yourself a difficult assignment. So don't take this too seriously.

Nice one!

LOL! It is a pathetic poem, I am more of a short story/novelist

Please don't sacrifice the other more valuable aspects of a poem to something like rhyme and meter. It makes the poem appear elementary, and I know you are above that. The rhyme and meter was very nice, though.

Alibird, she is,
So frightened, she is.
so morphed, she is,
Alibird, she is.

I KNOW SHE IS! I KNOW SHE IS! I KNOW SHE IS! I KNOW SHE IS!
Terrible repitition.... rhyme was forced. And what Xanthan gums said.