Diary

Yet another of my poems written ridiculously early in the morning (2:30 to be precise). Definitely no excuse this time.

My sadness walks your pages with a heavy tread.
You’re a hard copy of my lonely heart.
Memories they live on, though many years stone dead.
Happiness seeps past ink and paper, past the biro hearts.
Dripping from each word of love.
Hanging on every word strung together from the very start.

The splatters of crinkled paper where my tears have fell.
Smudging words of horror and of rage.
Words crushed and smashed to pieces as they swell.
Photo’s peeling from pages like an old woman’s skin.
Aging each page turn.
Old, grey and flaking, their shine has worn thin.

Scribbles and scrabbles of my illegible truths,
Meant as a petty past time.
May one day be read by countless amounts of youths.
These thoughts darken my mind, soul and heart.
As they are buried deep,
Beneath the pile of old, worn books. Ready for a new start.

This is really beautiful. It reminded me of something Evanescence, Escape the Fate or The Foo Fighters might sing haha Anyway, I relly liked the similies and metaphors that you incorporated into your poem. It really bought what you were saying to life. Very good job.

This is absolutely beautiful. I can not be really sure, but by the sounds of this, either someone died, or you have felt heartbreak that the loneliest human on the planet can not begin to imagine, let alone describe. I liked how you subtly mention books,

...Walks your pages...Hard Copy... Ink and paper...Crinkled paper...

and so on. This poem makes me want to sob uncontrollably hidden away in a corner somewhere. It really does. Especially since I, as have you apparently, have recently been dumped. This poem touches a beautiful soft place in every persons heart, and I have nothing bad to say about it. Wow. Wow. Kudos.
Also, the way the rhyme scheme is obvious, but in a surprisingly subtle way, really just... Wow.

This was really beautifully written. I love the imagery, especially in the second stanza, and I love the way you put a new twist on a love story by making a poem about the diary entries.
The only thing I'm not sure about is the rhyme scheme-- I didn't even notice there was one until the beginning of the third stanza. This is a good thing, because it means that it didn't sound like you wrote a bunch of weird phrases just so you could get the rhymes to match. However, I think this means you have a rhythm problem-- your lines are not even

Crimsona wrote:My sadness walks your pages with a heavy tread.

Crimsona wrote:Memories live on through you, though many years stone dead.

Specifically, these two lines don't match up well, even though they aren't that different in length. The first line is ingenious-- it perfectly descries the emotion and image with the fewest words possible. The second one has some fat that could be trimmed.
I just used that as an example, basically just go through and tighten the lines a little.
Besides that, it was a beautiful poem. Great job

Thank you for your reviews! I've made some edits.

Nicely written. Full of feelings and emotions. Quite touching.

This was very amazing indeed. I love the emotion of heartbreak in it, the metaphors and the imagery.I could see smudged and blotted ink, old photos, crinkled paper of a worn book. I could see a person hunching over it, pouring their eyes out with tears and their heart out with emotion. The pen moving feverishly across the paper as you rush to vent your emotions, whatever they may be. I liked it very much. Good job and keep writing.