Naked Afternoon

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Points 890
Reviews 688
A tapestry of green grass hair
runs thick beneath a maiden's thigh,
the luscious drops of golden daylight
ordained with the fruits of colors,
and the warmth in melodic, silver chimes -
A beckon to the elusive ether
blanketed amongst the skies.

Dew drops in quiet ecstasy,
the weaving sheaves of baby's breath,
a softness is a masseuse to the eyes
and dwindling clouds of innocence…
Circle the iris, so opaline
a lush soul jewel,
a pristine twin of serpentine.

It is how you view the blades of growth
and whether you are deified or victimized.
The pupil is bitter, stone cold and blind
to all but the steady beat of light.
Irony chipped in window panes,
in the shedding pigments of the sky.
Perception morphs the wicked
into a diamond net of life.
Your lashes brush aside you demons,
or entreat them to enter in;
but rapture is just a fragrance
born by noonday's whims.
Carpe Diem.




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Points 890
Reviews 688




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Points 890
Reviews 131
Once every so often (it'd probably happen more if I came here more often) I read something with imagery thats so strong and vivid I'm forced to smile; it goes past "Thats so good, I wish I'd written it," and heads into, "I'm glad someone wrote that." It doesn't necessarily happen with the best poems, just the 'real' ones. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore.

I have no criticisms.

Great work.
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a head that empty?
Gone, gone from New York City,
where you gonna go with a heart that gone?




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Reviews 221
Good poem. I really enjoyed reading it and felt the emotion you put in. No crit.
Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side.
--La Rochedoucauld

"An unexamined life is not worth living..."
---Socraties




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Beyond excellent. There are no substantial crits I can give, but I found something small:

"Your lashes brush aside you demons," Should this perhaps be "your" demons?

Otherwise, absolutely perfect.
"Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others."
-Virginia Woolf




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Reviews 66
Wow, your poems are good. Great. Excellent. Fantastic. Uber. Take your pick.
Cuz I'm praying for rain and I'm praying for tidal waves.
I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down.




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Gender Female
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i believe i will have to agree with everyone else. this is brilliant. good word, brilliant. it describes this well, i think.
"Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart."
- Margaret Cho




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Points 1040
Reviews 202
A beautifully written poem, with stunning, vivid imagery. I loved this.
Real poetry are those with the best words in the best order

~~~~~~~~Mandy~~~~~~~~~




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Very, very good. I give you a hearty congrats on a master poem!
"I will have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul..." --Mr. Darcy, P & P, 2005 movie
"You pierce my soul." --Cpt. Frederick Wentworth

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By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.
— Winston Churchill