Young Writers Society

As Joshua walked along the pond’s blue rim, crisp autumn air sent vigorous chills throughout his entire body. The young boy continuously gripped his jacket while tugging it closer to himself as he walked. By doing this, he hoped to prevent the cool air from touching his skin.
He continued to pat his coat pocket as if making sure he wasn’t leaving something behind. Once a look of satisfaction gleamed across his face, he began his journey home; eager to greet his mother with his return.
In no time, as he entered his home, he quickly snatched a crystal bowl from one of the highest cabinets present in his kitchen. Joshua stumbled back down to the floor with the bowl in his hands, and managed to make his way over to the sink. He gave his pocket a final pat before setting the bowl down and smiled.
He pulled out of his pocket, a slimy fish with its tail flapped over his hand. Joshua examined the fish in astonishment as he placed it gently in the bowl of water he created.
Something was not the same about the fish Joshua caught. He knew right away there was something wrong. It did not flap stubbornly like he remembered when he first scooped it out of the pond. The fish simply drifted halfway down the bowl. Joshua’s face quickly fell from a grin to a frown as he watched this happen.
He stared in disappointment at the fish now floating motionless at the water’s surface.
Joshua ultimately decides he should give this precious fish of his a proper farewell by bringing it back to the pond from which it came. He sits down next to the pond and starts digging away at the ground profusely with a garden shovel from his garage. As he is about to lay the fish down in the hole he just made he spots a bright green frog hopping across the grass. Joshua squeals in excitement and pounces at the frog quickly before it has a chance to get away. He grips the frog tightly between both hands and stares at it in astonishment. With the frog in one hand, he looks back down at the dead fish on the ground. His face transforms from happiness to sadness within seconds, and looks back up at the frog in his hand.
With the frog still tightly being held, Joshua stands up slowly and begins to walk towards the pond as if he were on some sort of important mission. He kneels down next to the pond, and lowers the frog down, releasing it back into the pond. He watches the frog as it swims away, back in its natural habitat where it belongs.

This was really good a good thing about the story is you have many different emotions when you read it. curiosity-there's something in his pocket, what is it? why is he getting a bowl? Astonishment- there was a fish in his pocket. cool
sadness- the fish had died. then he buried it. nice kid. returning nutrients to the soil always good then he found the frog and you felt happiness for the kid with the new pet, but then you remember the fish. then you go awww. but then he lets it go and you feel good again. There was a moral too. liked that. wonderful story. keep up the good work ok?
-Gmuffin-

This is okay, but the moral is unclear. Maybe it needs a rewrite? I didn't really get the fact that he buried the fish, only that he had forgotten about it and started paying attention to the frog.

This was actually a very sweet piece, although it could have been a little more exciting.

First of all, why should I care that the fish has died? That sounds like a horrible thing to say, but in fiction writing, if something or someone dies, you should have made the reader care about if first. Try adding in a scene about the boy discovering the fish, and describe how beautiful it is, what the boy feels about it etc.

Now for a few grammar nitpicks- the things I've written and changed are in red.

As Joshua walked along the pond’s blue rim, crisp autumn air sent vigorous chills throughout his entire body. The young boy continuously gripped his jacket while tugging it closer to himself as he walked. By doing this, he hoped to prevent the cool air from touching his skin.

He continued to pat his coat pocket as if making sure he wasn’t leaving something behind. A look of satisfaction gleamed across his face and he began his journey home, eager to greet his mother with his return. "With his return" is a little unnecessary. "Greet his mother." works just fine.

In no time, as he entered his home, he quickly snatched a crystal bowl from one of the highest cabinets present in his kitchen. Joshua stumbled back down to the floor with the bowl in his hands, and managed to make his way over to the sink. He gave his pocket a final pat before setting the bowl down and smiled.

He pulled out of his pocket, a slimy fish with its tail flapped over his hand. Joshua examined the fish in astonishment as he placed it gently in the bowl of water he created. Why is he astonished? If the fish is a gorgeous looking fish, you should have a) described it earlier in the story, as mentioned, or b) described it here.

Something was not quite right about the fish Joshua had caught. He knew right away there was something wrong. It did not flap stubbornly like he remembered when he first scooped it out of the pond. The fish simply drifted halfway down the bowl. Joshua’s face quickly fell from a grin to a frown as he watched this happen.

He stared in disappointment at the fish now floating motionless at the water’s surface.

You change tenses hugely in this following paragraph. If you're going to write in the past tense, stick with it.

Joshua ultimately decided he should give this precious fish of his a proper farewell by taking it back to the pond from which it came. He sat down next to the pond and started to dig away at the ground profusely with a garden shovel from his garage. Just before he laid the fish down in the hole he had just made he spotted a bright green frog hopping across the grass. Joshua squealed in excitement and pounced at the frog quickly before it had a chance to get away. He gripped the frog tightly between both hands and stared at it in astonishment. Try to use a different word other than astonishment, seeing as you used it earlier in the story. With the frog in one hand, he looked back down at the dead fish on the ground. His face transformed from happiness to sadness within seconds, and he looked back up at the frog in his hand.

With the frog still tightly being held, Joshua stood up slowly and began to walk towards the pond as if he were on some sort of important mission. He knelt down next to the pond, and lowered the frog down, releasing it back into the pond. He watched the frog as it swam away, back to its natural habitat where it belonged.

So bear in mind what I said- this was good, but could have been great. Add some more description, and fiddle with the grammar and such, and it will be beautiful!