Chapter 1 (unknown title)

It started at lunchtime on the 13th of February in McArthure Junior High's crowded lunchroom. Mathew Portz, his girlfriend, and I made our way to the lonely table in the back corner, aka: the 'loser table'. Well, at least that's what everyone else calls it. Knowing that, you now understand this trio's image. However, I am the heart and soul of the group, making every moment my fault in a way. I am the one kid who was unfortunate enough to get on Charlie's bad side on the first day of school. So now he hates my guts and beats me up after school. Mathew is my best friend. Since about everyone hates me for some unknown reason, anyone who hangs out with me is considered a dweeb. Then is henceforth banned from the regular tables and is no longer allowed to enjoy the pleasure of a simple hello from some random guy in the hallway. That's what happened to Mathew and his girlfriend, Angel Sinner. They were sent out as castaways and I rescued them from the cruel ocean. Now we are located at the microscopic island called the "loser table" in uncharted waters. Wonderful isn't it?
"Arnold, you going to the dance?" Mathew's voice broke into my thoughts.
"Nah." Why would I bother going to the dance again? It'll be as dull as last year.
"What! Why not?" Wow. He sounded really disappointed. That almost made me feel bad.
"Because I'm going to be busy Saturday," I lied.
"Aw, come on! Please? You went last year! Why not this year? You can come with me and Angie." Mathew desperately wanted me to join the party. Come on, Arnold. He's your best friend, and you're already causing enough pain as it is. I sighed and reluctantly said the special word: "Yes." Suddenly, Mathew jumped up out of his chair and shouted "HOORAY!" Everyone turned and stared at the three weirdos. There was an awkward pause, and then slowly the chatter began again.
"Dude, don't do that! You made us look even worse than we already do!"
Mathew blushed and plopped back down in his chair. After a few moments, he asked, "Who are you taking to the dance then?" Oops. I had completely forgot about that part. Mathew scanned the cafeteria, looking for a suitable girl.
"Uhhhhhhh..... Arnold, all these girls are out of you're league." I glared at him with utmost contempt. He shrunk down under my gaze and searched once more. "Hey! Arnold, how about that one?" Mathew pointed over at the middle table filled with girls.
"Which one?" I asked.
"That one."
"Which one?"
"That one!"
I groaned, leaned back in my chair, and pressed my fingers to my temple. Mathew could be so thick sometimes. "Describe her please," I said, my patience at an end.
"Well, she has brown hair, braces, glasses, green Nikes..." He continued to describe this girl in high detail. I had closed my eyes in irritation and tried to find my happy place. When he was through, I had created a mental image of the girl, and she looked pretty good. I opened my eyes and tried to find her in the throng of girls. Bingo. She looked just as I had imagined her. As much as I hated agreeing with Mathew on this one, I did admit she was out of my league. Who knows? I might get lucky. She could be one of those select few girls who love nerds. But what is her name?
"Angel, do you know her?" Mathew inquired. She replied with a simple nod of the head and a quiet "yes".
"What can you tell us about her?"
"Her name is Lauren Rivera. She is not particularly popular and makes straight A's every reporting period." Angel was like an encyclopedia. She could tell you about anyone in the school, though she rarely speaks. I still don't know how she does it.
"Angel will let you know if Lauren is available after school today. If she is, you ask her. Sound good?" I thought about it a bit then replied, "What have I got to lose?"
Mathew smiled. "Absolutely nothing!" And on that happy note, we stood and dumped our trays of lunch lady goo in the trash can. "See you at the dance, Arnold!" Mathew waved.

At the end of ninth period, I dashed to my locker, spinning the combination lock at top speed. If I hurried, I could ask Lauren out and still make it to the door before Charlie got to me. As I was hurling books in my backpack, someone tapped me lightly on the back of my head. I whirled around, fearing Charlie, but it was only Angel.
"She is available," Angel said simply. I did a fist pump and mumbled "yes". In a few moments I had my backpack over my shoulder, ready to find Lauren. I stood up, whipped around, and to my surprise came face to face with the very person I wanted to see.
"Uh, hey," Lauren greeted me, smiling softly. I just stood staring like a doofus. She blushed and looked down at her shoes. "Angel said... you wanted to ask me something?" Lauren looked up, waiting for me to speak. She had exquisite hazel eyes. Beautiful. I stood there for five more seconds, slowly coming out of my thoughts.
"Uhhhmmmm," I mumbled, rebooting my brain and trying to remember what I was supposed to ask her. Lauren's smile grew a little wider. It looked like she was trying not to laugh."Oh. Um..." I began, finally realizing what I had to say. She looked into my eyes and gave me her undivided attention. "Do you uh..." I cleared my throat. "Um...do you...uh" I felt my ears turning red.
"Do I...what?" she laughed. That made me feel better.
"Um, do you uh...want to go to the um dance...with me...tomorrow?" She gave me a small smile and replied, "I'd be delighted." I breathed out, releasing all my tension. Glad to get that over with. Then we both walked out the double doors towards the bus loop.
"Guess I have some shopping to do," Lauren commented.
"Why?" I asked, dumbfounded. A girl is talking to me.
"Because I need a dress, silly! Don't you want me to wear something special?" She turned to me, and I laughed to myself. Love was turning me into a chuckle head.
"Sorry for such short notice." I spoke a little softer than usual."Nervous, you know."
She nodded, "I completely understand."
We walked for a few more minutes in silence, enjoying each other's company. We had left the school property and were headed towards the park. It was a lovely day, even for February. I was admiring the way the snow sparkled in the sun when someone tapped me forcefully on the shoulder. I turned about to see who it was when I got a mouthful of fist. Lauren screamed. I was too slow. Charlie had found me.

This is a nice story, it's really cute! But because it was Fantasy Novels section I would like it to be a bit more descriptive. Just because fantasy novels are so sure to describe the scene of the story. But it is a nice beginning of a story you really should continue with!

Nice story. I liked it.

Looking forward for further chapters. Do inform me when you post anything new.

Good Job and Good Luck

Muffin, I loved this. It made me laugh. You really pulled off the awkward, yet cute mood. Normally, I'm not really one for the school stories, but this was really entertaining. I'm interested to see when and how the fantasy is going to take the stage.
You do a great job of setting up the characters' personalities through dialogue. We are told Lauren is really smart, and the language she uses and how she addresses people shows it.
Now, on to nitpicks:

t started at lunchtime on the 13th of Februaryno comma in McArthure Junior High's very crowded lunchroom.

Mathew Portz, his girlfriend, and I no comma made our way to the lonely table in the back corner, aka: the 'loser table'.ouch.

Well, at least that's what everyone else calls it.

So now he hates my guts and beats me up after school.

Rude.

Since about everyone hates me for some unknown reason, anyone who hangs out with me is considered a dweeb and is banned from the regular tables and is no longer allowed to enjoy the pleasure of a simple hello from some random guy in the hallway.

This is a really long sentence. You might fiddle around with breaking it up a bit.

They were sent out as castaways and I rescued them from the cruel ocean. Now we are located at the microscopic island called the "loser table" in uncharted waters.

Nice extended metaphor.

"Arnold, you going to the dance?" Mathew's voice broke into my thoughts. "Nah." Why would I bother going to the dance again? It'll be as dull as last year. "What! Why not?" Wow. He sounded really disappointed. "Because I'm going to be busy Saturday," I lied.

Be sure to separate the dialogue. When a new speaker begins, start a new paragraph.

Aw, come on! Please??

Come on, Arnold.

Suddenly, Mathew jumped up out of his chair and shouted "HOORAY!"

Haha. But you don't really need to use all caps.

Everyone turned and stared atus the three weirdos.

This guy really has a poor self-image doesn't he? I want to give him a hug.

There was an awkward pause, and then slowly the chatter began again.

"Uhhhhhhh..... Arnold, all these girls are out of you're league."

Ouch.

"Which one?" I asked. "That one."
"Which one?"
"That one!"

This was hilarious! the first "'That one'" needs to be on a line all by itself. Dialogue is selfish that way.

Mathew could be so thick sometimes.

Ouch.

green Nikes,..

Change the comma to another period. I want green shoes...

I had closed my eyes in irritation no comma and tried to find my happy place.

When he was through, I had created a mental image of the girl, and she looked pretty good.

I did admit she was out of my league. Who knows? I might get lucky. She could be one of those select few girls who love nerds.

I love his thought process.

But what is her name?

I'm just going to bring up here that you tend to tense-hop a bit between present and past tense. It gets a little confusing, but it's a really simple thing to straighten out. Just decide which one you want and go with it.

"Angel, do you know her?" Mathew inquired his girlfriend.

I thought about it a bit,I don't think you need this comma then replied,

Mathew smiled. Period "Absolutely nothing!"

"See you at the dance, Arnold!"no comma Mathew waved.

At the end of ninth period, I dashed to my locker,

Nine periods! How long is their school day?

I did a fist pump

Tee hee.

"You've got an extra space here Uh, hey," Lauren greeted me, smiling softly.

"Angel said,.. you wanted

Change the comma to a period again.

I have to say that the following seen had me literally laughing out loud. That's hard to do. Bravo.

Do you uh.."

When you use an ellipsis to indicate a pause, be sure to use three periods.

" Do I.. what?"

Another extra space here.

" Guess I have some shopping to do,"

same here

"Why?' I asked, dumbfounded.

Double marks on the closing quotation mark.

A girl is talking to me.

I don't know why, but this simple sentence cracked me up! I love his little side comments.

"Because I need a dress, silly!

She turned to me, and I laughed to myself.

Love was turning me into a chuckle head.

He's already declaring this is love? Wow. He moves quick.

enjoying each other's company.

I turned about to see who required my presence

"Required my presence," while a very original way of putting it, seems a little too sophisticated for Arnold. I would keep it simple for him and just say "who it was."

General points:
I mentioned some of these before, but I can't remember which ones, so forgive me if you have to read the same thing twice.
Whenever a new person starts speaking, his or her dialogue should start on a fresh line.
I know I already mentioned the tense issue, which is only in a couple of places.
It couldn't hurt to put a little more description in, but I really liked the metaphors and similes you did use.
I’d really like to know what happened on the first day of school with Charlie. You’d think that by February he would have let go of his grudge. It would make more sense to me if the offense was recent, but then again, who knows with bullies.
You are hilarious, dear. Just thought you should know.

Even based on the previous story I read of yours, your grammar has improved significantly. Everything I pointed out last time was addressed in this piece and fixed. Like I said, once you understand how it works, it's no problem. And being as smart as you are, you can really pick up on it fast. Great job!
Let me know when you post more. Happy writing!
-Sea-

I like this really good sorry i'm bad and pointing out the bad in stories so this isnt the most helpfull review sorry But i really like this story I like how you described that he saved the from the ocean awesome metaphor nice job i like it