I'm Better Alone

In the distance he calls me
Like some home sick melody
Fights the breeze to get to me
But he won’t ever beat the trees
I’ve left and I’m not coming home
Even though without you
I don’t know which way the wind blows
So goodbye I guess for a while
Because I won’t stay all night

The stars are my guiding light
I don’t know which way to go through the night
But as long as I’m who I am
I’ll manage tonight without your hand
I’ll forge the rivers and learn the land
I know I left behind a mess in our house and home
I’m sorry I left you alone
But its time I went out on my own
I love you, but I’m better alone

I remember when I held your hand all night
I remember the time you told me to leave the light
Then I remember when you said to me
To forget that we were right
I cut the cords and cut the ropes
To make sure we had no hope
And then you came back to me
Wanting me to love you, and leave.

So I smashed the glass and smashed the sink
I forgot to feel and forgot to think
I tore down the house and left a sore
And I won’t find him anymore
Into the woods and into the night
I’ve never seen so much light
I fell asleep beneath the stars
And let my blanket be the dark

The stars are now my guiding light
I’m able to find my way through the night
Now I can safely say I know who I am
And I can get up fine without a hand
I’ve forged rivers and learn the land
I know I left behind a mess in our house and home
I’m sorry I left you alone
But I love my time here, on my own
I’d like to say I love you, but I’m better alone

Such wizardry of words. It tells the reader that the main character is a complete loner. We sometimes are better off alone, but not always. I love this piece. Keep writing for the sake of writing and you'll never be alone. If you ever are alone, listen to the musical The Phantom of the Opera. It helps with the loneliness.

This is absolutely amazing! I love your work, but some of the stanzas didnt flow correctly. Good job and I especially liked the two last stanzas! Keep writing!

aaagghhhhh, I absolutely love this piece (it kind of epitomizes me). Probably my favorite of all of your pieces! It conveys human independence and the fear of relying on others. I can picture a young girl, standing in the shadows of reality, coming to realize that she can't wholly depend on anyone for fear of being hurt. For me, it embodies the natural mistake that is so common among humans to take the phrase, "all or nothing" to heart when it comes to reliance on other people. Due to her fear, the character described in the poem attains some level of correctness, but due to the wrong means; she's learning to depend on herself, but is doing so because she is afraid of placing her trust in the fragile hands of humanity. This poem elicited strong feelings from this generally numb, messy piece of work that is commenting, and that should say quite a bit. Congratulations on yet another magnificent piece of poetry!

Okay, so I'm going to get right into my critique before I forget what I have to say (as I do often). I like this a lot. You have crafted this in such a way, in my opinion, that your audience is rendered speechless by the end; and in this case that's a good thing. Also, you are able to pull the reader in immediately just by how powerful your wording and imagery are.
The only part that I noticed was that your beginning was so intense that it seemed as if everything after it grew calmer and calmer (maybe paled in comparison), and I expected it to be intense all the way through to the end. However, this isn't bad, it's just something I've noticed. But again, I really enjoyed reading this and can't wait to read more of your writing.

I've just reread your writing like, three times now to find out what to say, because I was just speechless.

Your rhyme scheme was excellent. The AABB scheme is somewhat annoying, but not in this, because I was at the edge of my seat the entire time. I love the words, and I thought they all flew together fluently. I really like the story! Unfortunately, I've been in that type of situation, and I can relate to it quite well.

Very good job!